tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post5647409964043768003..comments2024-03-29T06:05:14.320+00:00Comments on Wargaming Miscellany: The Black Dog has paid me a visit ... but now he has goneRobert (Bob) Corderyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-91419076711944720152016-09-15T23:38:45.358+01:002016-09-15T23:38:45.358+01:00Ken H (Ken),
The thing that I have found is that ...Ken H (Ken),<br /><br />The thing that I have found is that anyone who has suffered from any form of mental illness understands how debilitating it can be, and how your irrational brain can make you feel guilty about being ill whilst your rational brain is telling you that you have nothing to feel guilty about.<br /><br />At least we share a hobby that enables us to take a break from the pressures of normal life, and that can help us to cope with our illness.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-75194828115897966382016-09-15T21:02:33.920+01:002016-09-15T21:02:33.920+01:00Bob, all of us who have sunk into this space know ...Bob, all of us who have sunk into this space know how personal and awful it is, the worst feeling for me was the sense of letting myself and others down. It is an illness and no fun whatsoever . I truly admire your personal courage in sharing this, I spent a long time avoiding what was going in, as always, your posts are inspirational. KenKen Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04231379269565966932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-87285589726895236472016-09-13T19:13:19.313+01:002016-09-13T19:13:19.313+01:00Glad you had the support and the strength to get b...Glad you had the support and the strength to get back on track and back to normal (whatever that is!!)alastairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15012644168758721189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-7164689958686239072016-09-13T19:12:55.882+01:002016-09-13T19:12:55.882+01:00Glad you had the support and the strength to get b...Glad you had the support and the strength to get back on track and back to normal (whatever that is!!)alastairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15012644168758721189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-75702776525638464332016-09-13T16:41:46.305+01:002016-09-13T16:41:46.305+01:00Geordie an Exiled a FoG,
I am feeling so much bet...Geordie an Exiled a FoG,<br /><br />I am feeling so much better today, and the Black Dog seems to have been banished ... at least for the foreseeable future.<br /><br />It was great to meet you at Connections UK, and I wish that we had been able to have a longer chat.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-61935262573958957962016-09-13T16:38:15.455+01:002016-09-13T16:38:15.455+01:00Jim Duncan,
It was your recent fort project that ...Jim Duncan,<br /><br />It was your recent fort project that made me pose the question. I guessed that you might have already got plans in place for your grandson's wargaming future.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-68593968337412648882016-09-13T14:04:12.339+01:002016-09-13T14:04:12.339+01:00I'm busy building a toy fort for myself at the...I'm busy building a toy fort for myself at the moment but I'm sure that my grandson will not want for suitable soldiers and somewhere to use them in due course.<br /><br />I have put away a couple of shrink wrapped boxed sets that he won't get until he is at least a teenager.Jim Duncan Wargamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114076455087495681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-80496908401834834352016-09-13T10:40:20.435+01:002016-09-13T10:40:20.435+01:00Sorry to hear about the Black Dog, they wander int...Sorry to hear about the Black Dog, they wander into all our lives, best chase them away with a large broom, finding a distraction help. People have that strange tendency to be harder on themselves ...<br /><br />Thanks for the great chat at Connections UK, being in that plenary with you at the end was fantastic :)<br /><br />You have certainly given me a invigorated wargaming buzz thanksGeordie an Exiled FoGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01002743056274635657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-8548772331565349762016-09-13T08:41:30.931+01:002016-09-13T08:41:30.931+01:00Pat G,
Thank you for your supportive comment.
I ...Pat G,<br /><br />Thank you for your supportive comment.<br /><br />I had not thought about it until I read your comment and realised that you are right; the deaths of my friends and family do seem to be clustered around certain times of the year. I am sure that there must be some sort of explanation for it, but I don't think that I shall spend time trying to find it!<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-78779863967269309392016-09-13T08:38:43.161+01:002016-09-13T08:38:43.161+01:00James James,
Thank you for your kind comment.
Ha...James James,<br /><br />Thank you for your kind comment.<br /><br />Having been in a state where the depression dragged on and on, I know that physical and mental activity can be of great help, and I did find wargaming helped me to recover. In fact I knew that I was getting better when I was able to paint some figures without getting angry with myself when I made mistakes.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-26673611768206115042016-09-13T08:34:58.674+01:002016-09-13T08:34:58.674+01:00Alastair,
Feeling sad at a time of bereavement is...Alastair,<br /><br />Feeling sad at a time of bereavement is one thing (and can actually be a good thing as it can help one to cope), but I was beginning to slip towards having too many morbid thoughts, and past experience told me that that is not a place that I want or need to go. If I go too far down that route I end up worrying too much about death and forget that life is about living and doing ... and that is a very negative place to be. Luckily - and with a bit of self-help and support from my wife - I am back to normal.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-78351496606102189682016-09-13T08:29:07.489+01:002016-09-13T08:29:07.489+01:00Jim Duncan,
Dealing with so many deaths of those ...Jim Duncan,<br /><br />Dealing with so many deaths of those nearest and dearest to you can be emotionally draining, and the fact that you were able to come through without becoming depressed in any way is commendable. It sounds as if you were able to do it by throwing yourself into doing something, and I wish that such a tactic would work for me. I have tried it in the past ... but somehow it never quite had the result that I had hoped for.<br /><br />You are right about our hobby being a source of inspiration and - in times of trouble - distraction from the problems of the real world. It sounds to me as if your newly-arrived grandson is going to be an even bigger reason for you to carry on wargaming. (Have you started building him a toy fort yet?)<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-5717818732160862982016-09-13T08:21:07.412+01:002016-09-13T08:21:07.412+01:00Fitz-Badger,
Thanks very much for your condolence...Fitz-Badger,<br /><br />Thanks very much for your condolences. Luckily the Black Dog's visit was a short one this time, and hopefully he won't be back again for some time.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-80203421057549394322016-09-13T08:19:44.478+01:002016-09-13T08:19:44.478+01:00Chris,
Your analogy of the Black Dog taking you f...Chris,<br /><br />Your analogy of the Black Dog taking you for a walk is a good one. The most difficult thing that I have had to learn is how to get off his leash and make a run for freedom!<br /><br />I take your point that the use of the term 'emotionally self-indulgent' might appear to be rather harsh in these circumstances, but it was how it felt when I wrote my blog entry. Luckily having my wife nearby meant that I could tell someone how I was feeling, which I have found is the first step I need to take to begin to get better.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-5860316467073287112016-09-13T08:13:41.325+01:002016-09-13T08:13:41.325+01:00Archduke Piccolo,
Feeling down at a time when one...Archduke Piccolo,<br /><br />Feeling down at a time when one is dealing with bereavement or the memory of a bereavement is - as you write in your comment - no bad thing, but when ones thoughts begin to become morbid, that is when it starts to become self-indulgent. I have learned to recognise when that stage is developing, and use coping strategies to get me through it as quickly as possible.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-50602286766070604662016-09-13T08:09:48.431+01:002016-09-13T08:09:48.431+01:00Dr Vesuvious,
Over the years I have learned that ...Dr Vesuvious,<br /><br />Over the years I have learned that the Black Dog will stay as long as you let it, and nowadays the time it spends with me is usually, mercifully quite short.<br /><br />Thank you for your kind comments about my blog. Writing it helps me to give a bit of structure to what would otherwise be an even more meandering passage through life.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Bob<br /><br />PS. I've never tried glamping in a bell tent; I suspect that I would mind it less than my wife, who likes the luxury of an on-suite!Robert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-36105764066752603162016-09-13T01:57:26.568+01:002016-09-13T01:57:26.568+01:00Glad it passed. It seems to be the time of year f...Glad it passed. It seems to be the time of year for it.PatGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00379668269395518541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-38687504123398017102016-09-13T00:15:56.737+01:002016-09-13T00:15:56.737+01:00Most people would find your experience overwhelmin...Most people would find your experience overwhelming and I am sorry for your terrible losses. It is when depression drags on for months and even years that there is a real problem. In those cases being physically and mentally active are the treatments. Having a great hobby addresses the second. Quantrilltoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03824237942276969880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-55115932696409892102016-09-13T00:05:11.670+01:002016-09-13T00:05:11.670+01:00Bob, there's nothing self-indulgent about it....Bob, there's nothing self-indulgent about it. Feeling sad at times like that is a much healthier reaction that trying to struggle on as if everything's ok. Giving yourself time and space to feel things is important. alastairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15012644168758721189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-16071426359843743782016-09-12T23:38:21.305+01:002016-09-12T23:38:21.305+01:00Bob, I remember when my mother died I was a bit up...Bob, I remember when my mother died I was a bit upset, of course, but kept it together since I had to make the funeral arrangements and so on. My father died 6 months later so I went around that circle again. My big sister died just a few years after that and I think I was inured to the grief by then and got back on my feet quick enough. It all seemed a very normal part of life and death at that point.<br /><br />When I retired a good club friend died then not long after that my best friend died and both of these events sort of shocked me a good bit. I got over them by doing a lot of charity work as a distraction. I made another good friend during that period and I was really shocked when he died suddenly too. These three guys were all younger than myself so that really jolted me.<br /><br />I buried myself in my hobby again and with help from family and friends I am a happy bunny again. I don't think I ever suffered from depression during these periods as such but I did stop for a while and think about where do I go from here.<br /><br />This great hobby of ours has been a tremendous source of inspiration which we've both drawn on and it has certainly helped. I now have a 6 week old grandson to plan for entrance into the hobby and I expect that I will spend the next decade or two doing just that.<br /><br />As ever.<br /><br />Jim<br />Jim Duncan Wargamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114076455087495681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-69165478731831309722016-09-12T23:12:31.863+01:002016-09-12T23:12:31.863+01:00Condolences on your losses.
Glad to hear the blac...Condolences on your losses.<br /><br />Glad to hear the black dog's visit was fairly brief.Fitz-Badgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15510866929782142007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-7711950554172504842016-09-12T23:08:23.833+01:002016-09-12T23:08:23.833+01:00Bob,
I'm glad the black dog did not stay with ...Bob,<br />I'm glad the black dog did not stay with you for very long. I take my dog for a walk every morning, but when the black dog visits, HE takes ME for a walk. And whilst I pick up after my dog, the black dog does not reciprocate--he seems quite happy to let me foul my emotional footpath, so to speak.<br /><br />I do think you were being too harsh on yourself when you said you were being "emotionally self-indulgent"--this might have been true had you just given up, whined about the unfairness of life, and waited for someone else to fix things. Instead, it seems to me you gave some thought to pretty important things, got it sorted out, and moved on in a better frame of mind--an example we all should follow.<br /><br />Best regards always,<br /><br />ChrisChrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05091296131481416326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-11728983679360302322016-09-12T23:02:03.566+01:002016-09-12T23:02:03.566+01:00I think a little melancholic 'timeout', pe...I think a little melancholic 'timeout', perhaps in remembrance of those you have lost, is no bad thing. It doesn't last, one feels the better for it in the long run (I reckon), and it's healthy. Yes, one can become self-indulgent about it and take it to excess. But a few days? Nah. All that shows is that you're human - in the best senses of the word.Archduke Piccolohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15533325665451889661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-27522586673207757092016-09-12T22:51:10.801+01:002016-09-12T22:51:10.801+01:00When that Black Dog comes sniffing around, all you...When that Black Dog comes sniffing around, all you can do is whack the bugger on the nose with a rolled up newspaper 'till it comes to heel. Sorry to hear of your recent loss and remembrance, but glad to hear that you've send that bloody mutt packing again. Your work on the hobby is an inspiration to a lot of us here, and though I don't post here much these days, I always keep an eye on what you've been up to.<br /><br />(Mostly 'cos I'm sick with jealousy over the glamorous cruise lifestyle you and Mrs C somehow enjoy, while three days glamping in a bell tent in High Wycombe was the best I could manage this year!)<br /><br />Best Regards<br /><br />Dr VDr Vesuviushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05255420207375021875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6933470253715910366.post-75055341882754854682016-09-12T22:43:15.310+01:002016-09-12T22:43:15.310+01:00The Ferrymen (John),
Thanks for your kind comment...The Ferrymen (John),<br /><br />Thanks for your kind comment. It is nice to know that there are lots of people out there who care enough to write such comments.<br /><br />It was Churchill who referred to his depression as the 'Black Dog', and I just copied his example.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />BobRobert (Bob) Corderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13109130990434792266noreply@blogger.com