Self-assembly ... and self-control!

My wife collects paperweights. To the average wargamer this might seem a bit odd, but it does have the advantage that it helps my wife to understand – to a certain extend – my desire to collect toy soldiers.

The majority of my wife's collection was stored in an IKEA glass display cabinet, but over time it had begun to show signs of wear and tear. As a result she ordered a new cabinet to replace it ... and my task this afternoon has been to assemble it.

The parts were very well packed. The outer cover was made from thick corrugated cardboard, and the corners were reinforced with plastic protectors. Inside the packaging was mainly expanded polystyrene and thick polythene, and each of the major components were very well protected from potential damage. The small parts were each in separate sealed plastic bags, and the instructions were over twelve pages long.

Just unpacking and checking the components took the best part of half an hour … and then I started work. The first thing I had to do was to try to understand the almost entirely visual instructions. These were a series of drawings that showed the various stages of the construction process and which components went where. The only problem was that some parts of the drawing was so small that they were almost useless … and by halfway through the construction process I realised that there was actually a much easier way to assemble the cabinet. (All those years of putting together Airfix kits were not wasted after all!). Unfortunately this realisation came too late to speed or ease the process, and so I continued to follow the instructions I had … and I have the cuts and bruises to prove it.

The cabinet is now complete and awaiting a good clean by my wife before the paperweights can be put into it. I have managed to disassemble to old cabinet, and its component parts are now waiting for disposal at the local recycling centre.

So why the comment about self-control?

Well my wife tells me that during the construction process I used a lot of language more suited to the parade ground than the conservatory (which is where I assembled the new cabinet). As anyone who knows me will tell you, I never ever swear … well not much … and then only after extreme provocation … and when I am putting together self-assembly furniture!