Over the past month or so I seem to have lost some of my enthusiasm for many things, including wargaming. This may well have been apparent to my regular blog readers, who might have noticed that some of my more recent blog posts have been rather bland and generic. In fact, most of the recent ones were written well over a week ago and published in a timetabled sequence whilst I took a break from blogging.
I put this lack of enthusiasm down to several things. Firstly, the treatment of my prostate cancer seems to be in a state of limbo. My regular medication (a daily dose of Apalutamide/Erleada and twelve-weekly injections of Goserelin/Zoladex) seems to be working, and when it was recently measured, my PSA (prostate-specific antigen) level was negligible. This means that my cancer is not getting worse and recent scans show that it hasn’t spread.
That said, I’m still waiting for a date when my radiotherapy will start. This will require me to have daily treatment from Monday to Friday for four to eight weeks, and I am told that it will probably leave me tired and listless for some time afterwards. As a result, I don’t want to start any major projects beforehand.
Secondly, my cancer medication is affecting my thyroid, which means I can tire quite quickly and have difficulty concentrating, I am currently taking 50mg of Levothyroxine every day, but I understand that this daily dose may need to be increased to 75mg or even 100mg. On at least one occasion recently I’ve gone up to my toy/wargame room to do something, sat down in my chair … and dozed off!
The problem is that I have lots of things that I want to do on the wargaming front … but little mental motivation and physical energy to do any of them. Furthermore, I know that if I do try to something and it doesn’t work, I will probably generate a visit from the dreaded ‘black dog’.
I know that things will get better (particularly once my course of radiotherapy has finished) and I am hoping that the break I have taken will reinvigorate me enough for me to regain some of my enthusiasm. Until I do, I will blog as and when I can and keep my regular blog readers up to date with what I have done during and after my break.