You Are Old Father Bob … my parody of the parody!

Old Father Bob ... as rendered as a Tenniel-style line drawing by ChatGPT.

I’ve never been much of a poet, but I decided to give writing a wargaming parody of YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM a go … and here it is.

“You are old, Father Bob”, the young wargamer said,
”And your figures are all varnished gloss.
In this day and age, such things cause me rage,
But you - Sir - do not give a toss!”

“Young man”, replied Bob, “that is true to a point,
But when I began to paint figures,
Gloss paint wasn’t bad, because it was all that we had,
And we used it with maximum vigour.”

"The rules that you write, could be thought to be trite”,
Said the youngster with sneering demeanour.
"I tried them once, and thought you a dunce,
Because it they were less than a tenner.”

“The size of book is no guarantee,
That the rules will give a great wargame.
Lots of pages do not,” Bob said to the tot,
“Ensure such, if this is your sole aim.”

“In all of your time, in this hobby of ours
Have you ever done anything worthwhile?”
Queried the youth, with a smirk on his face
And a voice that was suggestive of bile.

“Now see here, you brat,” Bob replied to the tw*t,
"Come and see me when you’ve matched my years
Then show me a list of all that you’ve done
At which point, I’ll buy you some beers.”

I hope that my efforts were not too excruciating to read ... and I look forward to reading your efforts at wargaming poetry!