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Sunday 15 August 2021

Well, that’s the gas pipe fixed; all we need now is a working oven!

The gas man came yesterday and moved the gas pipe to the hob so that the new electric oven would fit … and because he is also a trained kitchen fitter, he was supposed to connect and test the new oven.

At this point, I am going to pose a question to all of you who have been following this kitchen revamp saga.

What happened next?

A point to all of you who guessed that there was a problem with the electrical connection!

After nearly an hour of sometimes quite rigorous swearing and the oven being moved in and out several times, the fitter announced that the oven was working fine … if it wasn’t in its niche! As soon as he put it back where it was supposed to be, it stopped working.

The boss of the company who are revamping our kitchen was already due to pay us a call to remove all the rubbish and to check that everything was completed, but he came earlier than expected when the fitter telephoned him to explain about the problems with the oven. The boss had tried to find an electrician who could come in to sort out the connection, but none were available until Monday … so now we will have to wait until then before the work is completed.

This is sorry saga really is sounding more and more like a revised version of Flanders and Swann’s song!


There now follows a sort of appropriate old Soviet-era joke.

Back in the bad old days of the Soviet Union, people had to wait years to buy consumer goods or to get things done to their homes.

Vladimir saved up his roubles, and one day he had enough to buy a new Lada car. He went to the showroom, ordered his car, and paid the salesman in full.

Salesman: “Come back in ten years, and your car will be here for you to collect.”

Vladimir: “Will that be in the morning or the afternoon?”

Salesman: “Does it matter whether is is the morning or the afternoon?”

Vladimir: “Yes, because the plumber is coming in the morning to fix the pipes in my flat!”

12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Nundanket,

      I understand that President Reagan used to ‘collect’ Soviet jokes. This is one of his.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  2. Our clothes washer conked out last Thursday. Decided that since washer and dryer were at least 20 years old, that replace was better than repair. Currently awaiting new washer and dryer - due "tomorrow." (No time specified.) Hopefully the install goes smoother than your oven! At least no gas fitter involved! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pdf,

      I hope that your new washer and dryer arrive at a reasonable time today. The oven was supposed to be delivered during the day on 9th August. It was … at 7.15pm! The delivery driver was very apologetic as he had to deliver (and in some cases, install) 45 different white goods to addresses all over South London … and we were 35th on the list.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  3. Hi BOB,
    Ah-dear...I can relate to your Saga with the Oven...anything electrical I do not attempt- I've a very reliable Electrician on call who I taught some 40 years ago- Technical Drawing and Woodwork- Gary is very knowledgeable - on his last visit he managed to fix our 'Range Hood' and saved us from buying an inferior replacement new one. Our Plumber too is very reliable and always does a great job at a reasonable rate. Hope all goes well there for you and the Kitchen will be finished and completed. Best Wishes. KEV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kev Robertson (Kev),

      We were already short of tradespeople in the UK before Brexit, but since that came into effect, getting hold of a plumber, electrician etc., is very difficult. The gas man who dealt with our oven was being paid £90.00 per hour … and I know of several people with professional qualifications in law, banking, and accountancy who have retrained as tradespeople because the money is better and they have more control over their lives.

      We are expecting someone to come later today to fix the problem with the oven. I have my fingers crossed that they come …

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  4. You have my sympathy bob with this whole saga.

    Our built in fridge has been conking out over the last few weeks so we need a new one. However they now no longer make fridges in the size to fit the gap in the unit. Out comes the carpenter to remove the wood base as frankly it was knackered and also the wooden shelf above so the new fridge will fit in. We then discover the electrical plug is in the way in the cupboard above so the electrician needs to come out. Then the carpenter says the unit door which hides the fridge is knackered and we now need a new door.

    End result - the most expensive fridge in Christendom.

    Guy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy,

      The fitter has just left … and we now have a working oven!

      Apparently, the power terminal on the oven had a reverse screw thread, so that when the previous fitter had tried to connect the power to it, it worked until he thought that he was tightening it, when he was - in fact - loosening the connection … and the oven stopped working.

      Your experience really is the modern version of the Flanders and Swann song … and is one reason why we chose not to have fitted appliances other than the gas hob and oven.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  5. The Israeli humorist Ephraim Kishon wrote an essay akin to that Soviet joke. He ordered furniture, which kept being delayed, to the point where the customers formed a betting club. When does the shop say it'll be finished? For what reason? And when will the item actually arrive?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer,

      There are a myriad of Soviet jokes out there, some of them which are quite darkly humorous. I remember one that was told about Khrushchev after he was deposed. He was sitting in his dacha when the phone range. He picked it up and said, ‘Comrade Khrushchev here. Who is calling?’ No one spoke, and Khrushchev repeated himself. Eventually he said ‘Look, stop wasting my time! I’m listening!’ … at which point the voice at the other end of the line said, ‘It’s a bit late now, Comrade.’ … and hung up.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
    2. Not germane to the delivery theme, but my favourite was the following:

      “Why do traffic police patrol in 3s?”
      “I don’t know comrade? Why do traffic police patrol in 3s?”
      “One is good with numbers. The second is good with letters. And there third is to keep an eye on those two intellectuals.”

      Delete
    3. Nundanket,

      Germane or not, it’s still a great joke!

      I rather like the following one:

      A regional Communist Party meeting is held to celebrate the anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution. The Chairman gives a speech: “Dear comrades! Let’s look at the amazing achievements of our Party after the revolution. For example, Maria here, who was she before the revolution? An illiterate peasant; she had but one dress and no shoes. And now? She is an exemplary milkmaid known throughout the entire region. Or look at Ivan Andreev. He was the poorest man in this village; he had no horse, no cow, not even an axe. And now? He is a tractor driver with two pairs of shoes! Or Trofim Semenovich Alekseev – he was a nasty hooligan, a drunk, and a dirty gadabout. Nobody would trust him with as much as a snowdrift in wintertime, as he would steal anything he could get his hands on. And now he’s Secretary of the Party Committee!

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete

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