The Widow at Windsor: The Colonial wargamer's poem?

This evening I am giving an online talk to the Bristol Masonic Society entitled RUDYARD KIPLING: MASON AND POET. I have done this talk many times before, but never online, so I had to prepare a PowerPoint presentation to go with my talk ... and whilst doing so I re-read for the umpteenth time his poem THE WIDOW AND WINDSOR.

I have shared this poem online before, but as I was reading it, it struck me that this was probably what I think of as the archetypal Colonial wargamer's poem ... so here it is again!

THE WIDOW AT WINDSOR

'Ave you 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor
With a hairy gold crown on 'er 'ead?
She 'as ships on the foam
– she 'as millions at 'ome,
An' she pays us poor beggars in red.
(Ow, poor beggars in red!)

There's 'er nick on the cavalry 'orses,
There's 'er mark on the medical stores
– An' 'er troopers you'll find
with a fair wind be'ind
That takes us to various wars.
(Poor beggars! – barbarous wars!)

Then 'ere's to the Widow at Windsor
An' 'ere's to the stores an' the guns,
The men an' the 'orses
what makes up the forces
O' Missis Victorier's sons.
(Poor beggars! Victorier's sons!)

Walk wide o' the Widow at Windsor,
For 'alf o' Creation she owns:
We 'ave bought 'er the same
with the sword an' the flame,
An' we've salted it down with our bones.
(Poor beggars! – it's blue with our bones!)

Hands off o' the sons o' the Widow,
Hands off o' the goods in 'er shop,
For the Kings must come down
an' the Emperors frown
When the Widow at Windsor says "Stop"!
(Poor beggars! – we're sent to say "Stop"!)

Then 'ere's to the Lodge o' the Widow,
From the Pole to the Tropics it runs
– To the Lodge that we tile
with the rank an' the file,
An' open in form with the guns.
(Poor beggars! – it's always they guns!)

We 'ave 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor,
It's safest to let 'er alone:
For 'er sentries we stand
by the sea an' the land
Wherever the bugles are blown.
(Poor beggars! – an' don't we get blown!)

Take 'old o' the Wings o' the Mornin',
An' flop round the earth till you're dead;
But you won't get away
from the tune that they play
To the bloomin' old rag over'ead.
(Poor beggars! – it's 'ot over'ead!)

Then 'ere's to the sons o' the Widow,
Wherever, 'owever they roam.
'Ere's all they desire,
an' if they require
A speedy return to their 'ome.
(Poor beggars! – they'll never see 'ome!)

Reinforcement for my Funny Little Wars/Portable Wargame Army Khaki

In between session setting up my new PC, I managed to add some more figures to my ARMY KHAKI.

I have added:

• Two Commanders (on foot) (6 SP each)
• Two Reserve Infantry Battalions (Reserve, 4 SPs each)
• One Machine Gun Company (Regular, 2 SPs)
• One Engineer Half-battalion (Regular, 2 SPs)
• One Field Artillery Battery (Regular, 2 SPs)

My ARMY KHAKI now has the following strength:

• Commanders (One on horseback and two on foot) (Commanders: 6 SPs each)
• Infantry comprising:
• Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• Reserve Infantry Battalion (Reserve, 4 SPs)
• Reserve Infantry Battalion (Reserve, 4 SPs)
• Regular Machine Gun Company (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Cavalry comprising:
• Regular Light Cavalry Regiment (Regular, 3 SPs)
• Regular Lancer Regiment (Regular, 3 SPs)
• Artillery
• Field Artillery Battery (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Field Artillery Battery (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Engineers
• Engineers Half-battalion (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Train
• Supply Column (Regular, 1 SP)
• Supply Column (Regular, 1 SP)
• Total Strength Points = 54 SPs
• Exhaustion Point reached after the loss of 18 SPs

This means that I can field two small armies or one large army for PORTABLE COLONIAL WARGAME battles, and although I would like to add some more units in due course, my next step is to organise some potential opposition for them.

Up and running ...

After what has seemed like a long time (it’s actually only been four days), I’ve finally got my new PC set up, the programs I use installed, and all the files transferred from the older PC to the new one.

I decided not to rush the process of setting up my new PC ... and I encountered very few problems along the way. I now have a PC that works much, much faster than the previous one, and a screen that will make desktop publishing even easier.

Now that the PC is up and running, I have one or two projects that I hope will come to fruition later this year ... but I’ll write more about that over the coming months.

A ‘new’ PC

My current PC is showing its age (it is approximately six years old and originally used the Windows 8 operating system), and I am beginning to get fed up with how slow it has become. Each new Windows 10 upgrade seems to be making it work even slower, and after trawling around the Internet, I have bought a reconditioned PC that comes with a 21.5” flatscreen monitor and wireless keyboard and mouse.

I expect that it will take me some time to set up the new PC. In the past I would have tried to do this as quickly as possible so that I could crack on with any current projects, but as I have plenty of time on my hands, I don’t need to rush ... and so I’m going to take as long as it takes.

As a result, I may not be posting very much on my blog for the next few days. Rest assured, once the new PC is up and running, normal service will resume.

Nugget 334

The editor sent me the latest issue of THE NUGGET on Saturday, and I have uploaded the PDF version to the Wargame Developments website. It can be downloaded and read online using the password that was sent to all members when they resubscribed.

This issue will only be available as a download until the current lockdown has eased. At that point a printed copy will be produced and sent out to full members. In the interim, a copy of the PDF version has been sent as an email attachment to all members.

IMPORTANT: Please note that this is the seventh issue of THE NUGGET to be published for the 2020-2021 subscription year. If you have not yet re-subscribed, a reminder was sent to you. If you wish to re-subscribe using the PayPal option on the relevant page of the website, you can use the existing buttons as the subscription cost has not changed.

Using up the odds and ends

One byproduct of my recent FUNNY LITTLE WARS/PORTABLE WARGAME project has been the opportunity to use various odds and ends of figures to create units that I will be able to use in games. For example, my ARMY KHAKI currently comprises figures that I had painted years ago for a project that never came to fruition. They are about to be reinforced by some more painted figures that were bought second-hand because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Looking through my storage boxes, I’ve found some painted American Civil War Union Infantry that will - with a few minor modifications - be suitable for inclusion in an army where blue jackets are worn ... such as the Greek Army at the end of the nineteenth century. I have also found a number of painted World War I US Army figures as well as some Prussian/Imperial German infantry ... including a number of Landwehr. There are certainly enough of these figures to provide the basis for two more FUNNY LITTLE WARS/PORTABLE WARGAME armies, although the absence of suitable cavalry and artillery figures is something that I might need to address.

Soldiers of the Queen (SOTQ): Issue 179

The Victorian Military Society has recently published the latest issue of its journal, and a copy of SOTQ (Soldiers of the Queen) arrived in the post a couple of days ago.

This was a double-sized issue, and the reason for this was explained by in the magazine's editorial. Due to the impact of COVID-19, it had not been possible to publish the issue that was due three months ago, and so it had been decided to make this one twice the normal size. Furthermore, the Victorian Military Society has decided that henceforth the magazine will only be published three times each year rather than the current four times, but that to compensate, one issue each year will be a double-sized issue.

The articles included in this issue are:

• Before the Eagles Fell: Foreign sovereigns as British regimental colonels-in-chief before 1914 by Dr Andrew Winrow
• Wireless goes to War: The use of wireless communications in the Anglo-Boer War 1899-1902 by Dr Brian Austin
• Delhi, May 1857: Echoes of murderous mutineers and miraculous escapes by Dr Harold E Raugh Jr.
• Researching Trooper Tommy Atkins by Geoffrey A Pocock
• Field Marshal Lord Raglan: His final illness and unanticipated demise by Dr Mike Hinton
• Book Reviews by Dr Rodney Atwood and Andrew Smith
• Officers of the Victorian Military Society

This was another excellent issue, and yet again the Victorian Military Society is to be commended for managing to publish and distribute its journal whilst the impact of the current pandemic is still affecting everyday life.

The First Blacklands War

Many years ago, I took part in the Madasahatta Campaign. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the range of hardware and software that is readily available nowadays, and as a result, the records of the campaign are rather sparse.

The same cannot be said to be true of Archduke Piccolo’s FIRST BLACKLANDS WAR, which he has been fighting since August last year. He has been regularly publishing blog posts about the progress of the campaign, and a few days ago he wrote the last one.

The military situation at the start of the First Blacklands War.

The full list of his blog posts are as follows:

• A New Project That ... Isn’t ...
• The Blacklands War – the not-so-new project
• The Blacklands War – Beginnings
• First Blacklands War – Beginnings (2)
• First Blacklands War – Escalation
• First Blacklands War – The Second Week
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Stalacz
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Nicatiye
• First Blacklands War – Naval developments
• More Naval Developments
• Fleets completed ...
• Fleets painted ...
• Blacklands War – Naval ‘Stats’
• The First Blacklands War – The Third Week
• First Blacklands War – Duel of the Ironclads
• First Blacklands War – A peculiar battlefield
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Khalkidona
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Klyutch
• First Blacklands War – The War at Sea
• The First Blacklands War – The Fourth Week
• Naval Chromium
• First Blacklands War – A Blood-Letting at Dimitrovgrad
• Towards a Merchant Marine
• First Blacklands War – Battle of ‘Abstrati
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Kozani
• First Blacklands War – The War at Sea – Battle of Tekke Koyu (1)
• First Blacklands War – The War at Sea – Battle of Tekke Koyu (2)
• First Blacklands War – Siege of Scutari
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Vladicin Han
• First Blacklands War – Battle of Vladicin Han (2)
• First Blacklands War – Convoy
• First Blacklands War – Ship Stats
• The First Blacklands War – the Final Act
• The First Blacklands War – The End

This was a truly epic campaign that combined both land and naval action, and one that I think is worth great recognition within wargaming because it shows that it is possible to fight a campaign from start to finish without interest waning as it progresses. The blog posts also make for great reading, and a find it difficult to think that all but a few wargamers would not be inspired by reading all of the above!

The fact that Archduke Piccolo used an old map of mine as well as his own version of my PORTABLE WARGAME rules is purely incidental to my admiration for Archduke Piccolo's FIRST BLACKLANDS WAR campaign, and rather like Thislebarrow's ongoing series of Napoleonic campaigns, it shows just what is achievable if one puts ones mind to it.

Yet another Funny Little Wars/Portable Wargame army: Army Khaki

In LITTLE CAMPAIGNS: RULES FOR THE CONDUCT OF WAR GAME CAMPAIGNS IN MINIATURE​ there is an army list for ARMY KHAKI ... which is intended to represent the pre-First World War Turkish Army.

Its ORBAT in the book is as follows:

• Divisional Staff Group (Commander: 6 SPs)
• ARMY BLACK advisors (?)
• An Infantry Brigade comprising:
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• Machine Gun Company (Regular, 2 SPs)
• A Cavalry Brigade comprising:
• A Regular Light Cavalry Regiment (Regular, 3 SPs)
• Horse Artillery (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Field Artillery OR Fortress Artillery (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Engineers (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Train (Regular, 1 SP)
• Total Strength Points = 34 SPs
• Exhaustion Point reached after the loss of 12 SPs

The uniform worn by the Turks in 1913 was khaki in colour and very similar in style to that worn by almost every European army. The main exception was the headgear, which was called a Kabalak or Enveriye. It was a cane frame with two lengths of cloth wrapped about it to form a cloth helmet which from a distance resembled the shape of a British Army Colonial pattern helmet.

Turkish infantry in the uniform introduced in 1913.

As I had some painted but unbased British 15mm-scale figures in Colonial pattern helmets to hand, I decided to 'paint-convert' them into Turks (or ARMY KHAKI) figures by the simple expedient of painting their helmets khaki.

I was rather pleased with the end result, and they have now been varnished and based, and look like this:

The ORBAT is not quite the same as the one shown above, and currently stands as follows:

• Divisional Staff Group (Commander: 6 SPs)
• An Infantry Brigade comprising:
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Regular Infantry Battalion (Regular, 4 SPs)
• A Cavalry Brigade comprising:
• A Regular Light Cavalry Regiment (Regular, 3 SPs)
• A Regular Lancer Regiment (Regular, 3 SPs)
• Field Artillery (Regular, 2 SPs)
• Train (Regular, 2 SP)
• Total Strength Points = 28 SPs
• Exhaustion Point reached after the loss of 10 SPs

Since completing this small army, I have found some other British Colonial figures that might also be suitable for 'paint-conversion' into ARMY KHAKI figures. There seem to be enough to expand my existing force by about 40%, and I hope to renovate, varnish, and base them at some point over the next week.

Spanish Civil War wargames rules: For Whom The Dice Rolls

First, a caveat. I have known the author of theses rules for many years, and we have wargamed together on many occasions. When he first became interested in the Spanish Civil War, I encouraged him to pursue this interest, and even gave him some of the relevant books in my collection when I downsized it some time ago. I will therefore own up to a degree of conscious and unconscious bias in the following review. However, it must be said that the rules he has written are all his own work, and owe nothing to my input other than encouragement.

---

FOR WHOM THE DICE ROLLS are intended for players who want to fight brigade or divisional-level action of a tabletop. They were designed to be used with 15mm figures and models, but will easily be used with larger or smaller scale figures with little or no adjustment.

The rule book is split into a number of sections and subsections. These include:

• Introduction
• The Basics
• What you will need
• Playing area
• Troop Classifications
• Training
• Motivation
• Troop type
• Will to Combat
• Army Effectiveness
• Weaponry
• Infantry Weapons
• Artillery
• Armoured Vehicles
• Aircraft
• Figures, Scales & Formations
• Basing Figures and Vehicles
• Aircraft
• Scales
• Unit Sizes
• Higher Level Formations
• Table Top Formations
• Command and Control
• Command Cards
• Turn Sequence
• Movement
• Unit Movement
• Movement Increments
• Multiple Moves
• Wheeling & Facing
• Troops in Vehicles
• Close Assault
• Interpenetration
• Terrain
• Ranged Combat
• Bombardment
• Armour Combat
• Combined Infantry and Armour Attacks
• Close Assaults
• Close Assault Procedure
• Resolving Close Assaults
• Close Combat Example
• Morale
• Off Table Assets
• Determining Off Table Assets
• Playing Off Table Assets
• Ani-Aircraft Fire
• Unit Organisations
• Peninsula Army
• Infantry Regiment
• Cavalry Regiment
• Artillery Regiment(Light or Heavy)
• Army of Africa
• Foreign Legion Infantry Tercio
• Moroccan Infantry (Regulares) Grupo
• Artillery Brigade
• Police
• Civil Guard Tercio
• Assault Guard Group
• Political Party and Trade Union Forces and Militias
• Pro-Republic/Anti-Fascist
• Militia
• Anarchist Militia
• Pro-Nationalist/Anti-Communist
• Carlist Requetes
• Falange
• Nationalist Regular Army
• Infantry Brigade
• Cavalry Regiment
• Artillery Regiment (Light or Heavy)
• Republican People's Army/Popular Army
• Infantry Mixed Brigade
• Cavalry Regiment
• International Brigade
• Armour Formations
• Popular Army Armoured Battalion
• Regular Army Armoured Battalion
• Legion Armoured Bandera
• Corpo Truppo Voluntarie (CTV)
• Infantry Regiment
• Artillery Regiment
• Tank Battalion
• Euzko Gudarostea (Basque Army)
• Infantry Battalion
• Higher Level Organisation
• Legion Column - November 1936
• Nationalist Column - Summer/Autumn 1936
• Republican Column - Summer/Autumn 1936
• Republican Militia Columns - Summer/Autumn 1936
• Republican Mixed Brigade - October 1936 onwards
• Nationalist Division - Late 1936 onwards
• Nationalist Brigade - Basque Campaign Spring 1937
• CTV Littorio Division - Guadalajara March 1937
• Resources
• Bibliography
• Figures
• Alphabet Soup
• And Finally

The back cover of the rule book has a QRS (Quick Reference Sheet) for the rules, ...

... and the book is illustrated with very useful and informative colour photographs.

Some notes about the rules:

1. The ability of troops to perform the tasks they are ordered to undertake depends upon their classification and effectiveness. For example, experienced and fanatical troops such as the Foreign Legion will have a higher Will to Combat than committed but untrained Socialist Militia.
2. An army's effectiveness depends the units it comprises, and this will influence whether or not it has the initiative at the beginning of a turn, how many Command Cards it receives, and how may cards it may play before passing play over to its opponent.
3. The ground scale is approximately 1:2400 (6" represents about 400 yards) and a pair of figure bases represent an Infantry Company or Cavalry Squadron. A single base represents two Artillery Platoons or an Armoured Squadron.
4. The Command and Control rules use a full deck of conventional playing cards (fifty-two cards divided into four suits [Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, and Spades] plus two Jokers) and these are used to activate units. Interestingly, it is possible to get a more Spanish 'flavour' by using a set of Spanish playing cards (forty-eight cards divided into four suits [Swords, Cups, Coins, and Clubs]).
5. The rules reflect the fact that the fighting during the Spanish Civil War was very much a contest between opposing armies whose fighting strength was based around the quality and quantity of the Infantry and Artillery that were available. Armoured troops and aircraft played their part, sometimes decisively, but they did not dominate the fighting. Tanks often outran their accompanying infantry, and air attacks were regularly less effective than hoped due to inaccuracy and poor communication.

I thoroughly recommend these rules to anyone who already fights Spanish Civil War brigade and division-level tabletop battles or who is thinking of doing so. They are not a 'World War II-lite' set of rules nor an adaption of an existing set of rules to suit them for the Spanish Civil War; they have been written from scratch with the type of fighting that took place during the war at the forefront of their design.

---

FOR WHOM THE DICE ROLLS was written by Graham Evans (AKA Trebian) and published in 2020 by Wargaming for Grown Ups Publications (ISBN 979 8 566468 72 3). It is available from Amazon for £14.99.