Over the past month or so I seem to have lost some of my enthusiasm for many things, including wargaming. This may well have been apparent to my regular blog readers, who might have noticed that some of my more recent blog posts have been rather bland and generic. In fact, most of the recent ones were written well over a week ago and published in a timetabled sequence whilst I took a break from blogging.
I put this lack of enthusiasm down to several things. Firstly, the treatment of my prostate cancer seems to be in a state of limbo. My regular medication (a daily dose of Apalutamide/Erleada and twelve-weekly injections of Goserelin/Zoladex) seems to be working, and when it was recently measured, my PSA (prostate-specific antigen) level was negligible. This means that my cancer is not getting worse and recent scans show that it hasn’t spread.
That said, I’m still waiting for a date when my radiotherapy will start. This will require me to have daily treatment from Monday to Friday for four to eight weeks, and I am told that it will probably leave me tired and listless for some time afterwards. As a result, I don’t want to start any major projects beforehand.
Secondly, my cancer medication is affecting my thyroid, which means I can tire quite quickly and have difficulty concentrating, I am currently taking 50mg of Levothyroxine every day, but I understand that this daily dose may need to be increased to 75mg or even 100mg. On at least one occasion recently I’ve gone up to my toy/wargame room to do something, sat down in my chair … and dozed off!
The problem is that I have lots of things that I want to do on the wargaming front … but little mental motivation and physical energy to do any of them. Furthermore, I know that if I do try to something and it doesn’t work, I will probably generate a visit from the dreaded ‘black dog’.
I know that things will get better (particularly once my course of radiotherapy has finished) and I am hoping that the break I have taken will reinvigorate me enough for me to regain some of my enthusiasm. Until I do, I will blog as and when I can and keep my regular blog readers up to date with what I have done during and after my break.
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Hi Bob, sorry to hear that your meds are zapping your get-up-and-go. I hope you feel more like your old self soon. It always amazes me how prolific you are, so if anyone needs a well-deserved rest, it's you. Don't worry about us! You've supplied lifetime's worth of inspiration already, so there's always plenty for us lesser mortals to be getting on with. Having said that, I'm looking forward to seeing what you get up to next, when you're good and ready. Currently I'm revisiting Hexblitz! Best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteDonjondo,
DeleteThanks very much for your kind words and support. My wife and I managed top take a short break away from home, and it has certainly put me in a better place. I've still some way to go ... but things seem to be getting better as I am going to have my daily dose of Levothyroxine increased by 50% and this should help me feel more energetic.
All the best,
Bob
Bob,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear of your health trials and tribulations.
All I can say is keep at it!
Don't aim for major projects, just little steps!
Neil
Neil Patterson (Neil),
DeleteI am hoping that now that I have had a break and the medication for my thyroid is about to be increased, I'll feel a bit more energetic over the next week or so. In the meantime I'll be doing what you suggest.
All the best,
Bob
Sorry to hear this Bob! That state of limbo of waiting for a start date I remember all too well, which pushed me to use my old Company's private health scheme. This led to me being treated and decalred cancer free before I would have seen the same consultant on the NHS! Fingers crossed you get a date soon, ditto getting your thyroid dosage sorted.
ReplyDeleteMight I suggest a daily walk, visit to a park etc for a change of scenery? I know it's good for our mental health and just getting out of the same 4 walls can make a big difference, but of course all dependent upon your energy levels.
Wishing you all the best !
Steve J.,
DeletePart of the problem is a result of the recent NHS strikes, which have pushed my name down the treatment list so that more urgent cases can be dealt with first. At least my cancer doesn't seem to be getting worse, and as my thyroid drug dose is being increased in a few days, I expect to see an improvement in my energy level and ability to concentrate.
My wife and I do go out regularly for walks in local parks etc., and we have just returned from a short cruise where we got a change of scenery and the opportunity for some mild exercise, both of which have certainly helped me feel better.
All the best,
Bob
Bob,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you mate- wishing you well with everything you do. You are having what we call here in Australia "A Rough Trot"...certainly hope things get better and settle down- your probably anxious about your Therapy- this is rather normal. Hope you can do some of your Hobby to keep your well-being in good stead. Best Wishes. KEV.
Kev Robertson (Kev),
DeleteThe short break away from home that Sue and I have just returned from has really made a difference, and once my new, higher Levothyroxine dose starts to have an effect, I hope to return to normal.
All the best,
Bob
Perhaps it might be time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your many labors and just play some games. Best of luck on your continuing treatments!
ReplyDeleteMark Cordone,
DeleteCheers! I am hoping to get back to normal in the near future. In the meantime I have had a few ideas that I want to work on when I am feeling better ... but more of that later!
All the best,
Bob
Hello Bob, we are sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down in the dumps. Medical treatment is serious business. Hope you will feel better and hope all the treatments go well. Nothing is as important as health and well-being. Your motivation for the hobby will return, but there is no rush it’s your mind tells you have a little break and focus on recovery.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Bob - Quinn
Glory to Ruritania (Quinn),
DeleteI am hoping that things have begun to turn a corner. The break I have had has helped, and I hope that my increased thyroid medication will help as well.
All the best,
Bob
All the best to you sir.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I think that I will treat myself to some of your written works (that I have not purchased already) at Wargame Vault, especially since there is a sale on at the moment.
Greg
El Grego (Greg),
DeleteCheers! I knew that the Wargames Vault sale was due soon, but the fact that it had happened had rather passed me by! I hope that you enjoy your purchases and that they give your hours of fun and not a little inspiration.
All the best,
Bob
Hi Bob,
ReplyDeleteYour medical issues would be difficult to deal with for anybody. Please do not feel you have play a wargame or work on wargame related things if you are not in the mood. I haven't painted any figures since the height of covid. I have several things going on like moving back to one my house. I plan on painting figures again sometime this Fall.
Take care and good luck resolving your medical issues.
Scott
Scott,
DeleteI have had over two years of treatment for two different cancers, and that is enough to drain anyone's strength. That said, my hobby has always been something for me to fall back on, and now that I am beginning to feel better, I home to resume wargaming soon. I hope that you are able to do some figure painting soon as I know how relaxing that can be.
All the best,
Bob
Hi Bob, I see you have posted 'only' 19 times this month - that would take me about 6 months! So don't worry too much about your output.. Probably best not to let the blogging become a chore, I'm sure your break will indeed re-invigorate you. Glad to hear the drugs are working, albeit slowing you down a bit - I hope the radiotherapy comes along soon and does the job.
ReplyDeleteDavid in Suffolk,
DeleteSue and I have managed to have a short break, and have just returned from a cruise to Spain and Portugal. It has given me lots to blog about, and I hope to write about our trip later this week. It has certainly kick-started my enthusiasm for blogging again, and once my higher daily dose of Levothyroxine starts to take effect, I hope to return to normal as soon as possible.
All the best,
Bob
Health is obviously more important than a blog. Come back to things when you feel better, hopefully quickly.
ReplyDeleteRob Young,
DeleteWise advice ... and I have certainly done as you suggest. With a bit of luck and my new, higher daily dose of Levothyroxine, I'll be feeling better soon.
All the best,
Bob
Just do whatever you get the urge to as-and-when you get the urge, Bob. It’s important not to ‘beat yourself up about it’ if the blogging or modelling mojo isn’t there … it’ll resurface when it’s good n ready. And that may help to keep the black dog in his kennel….
ReplyDeleteI (and I’m sure all the regular blog readers) wish you well with the treatment.
Martin S.,
DeleteCheers! With a bit of luck - and a higher daily dose of Levothyroxine - I'll regain my energy and enthusiasm soon.
All the best,
Bob
Best wishes, Bob!
ReplyDeleteI know from loved ones how much some of those treatments can take out of a person. I think the main thing is to pay attention to your needs, maybe do what you can as far as anything fun goes. Don't worry about whether you're doing things you think you should be doing. And focus on getting through the treatment. Hope is also a good thing to hang onto.
Fitz-Badger,
DeleteThanks for your kind and very supportive comment. Until I start my radiotherapy, I have no idea how much impact it will have on my daily life. I may well be lucky and have little or no side effects, but if I am not lucky and do find that I am too tired to do very much, so be it. The sooner it is over, the sooner I can get back to leading a normal life ... or what passes for one at my age!
All the best,
Bob
Sounds really tough. But you will get thru it and be back to cranking out rules before you know it. Best of luck with the treatments and dont feel any need to produce. Get better because youre health is more important than any wargame projects. I really enjoy youre rules and the blog so relax and do what you need to do.
ReplyDeleteBradley,
DeleteThanks for your very kind comment. I find that working on projects usually helps me to cope with the ups and downs of my treatment, which is why my recent lassitude has had more effect that it otherwise would. Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon.
All the best,
Bob
Sorry to hear that the treatment is getting you down. I would second the suggestion to get out of the house, even if its only to sit on a park bench. A gentle walk is good for your peace of mind, if you can manage it. I read that the weather is good in the UK just now, and a little sun on your face can work wonders. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThistlebarrow,
DeleteIts the lack of physical and mental energy that I find most debilitating, but I am still managing to walk at least a mile a day on average, and on some days I've managed to do more than double that.
As you say in your comment, It does help ... even if I need a doze when I get back to recover! As to the beneficial effects of the sun ... well, Sue and I managed to have a short cruise to Spain and Portugal last week, and sitting on the Promenade Deck or walking around Vigo, Coruna, Lisbon, and Porto in the sun certainly made me feel better.
All the best,
Bob
It sounds very tiring and stressful but what are you going to do with your time if not paint toy soldiers?
ReplyDeleteQuantrilltoy,
DeleteI am using my time to read, rest, eat good food, travel and think. At present, I lack the concentration to paint. I've tried ... and the results were - to say the least - disappointing.
All the best,
Bob
I sympathise, at least on the motivation front. Relax as much as you need, and game and write only as much as you wish to. That's the point of a hobby, in the end - to help you relax, not to "keep your brain sharp" or "train for your next job," or anything of the sort...
ReplyDeleteJennifer,
DeleteThanks for your helpful advice. I’ve been taking a bit of a break and I’m already beginning to feel more motivated. Hopefully, when the increased dosage of Levothyroxine kicks in, I’ll feel even better.
All the best,
Bob
Sorry to read of your trevails, Bob. Hoping that you get your energy back soon. Best, Aaron
ReplyDeletePrufrock (Aaron),
DeleteCheers! Thanks for your kind thoughts. I’m hoping that once my new, higher dose of Levothyroxine takes affect, I’ll regain my motivation.
All the best,
Bob
You've had a rough time of it over the recent past Bob. It would knock anyone for six. You have my respect and sympathy. Someone near and dear to me has the same sort of thyroid condition and I have some understanding of what that can do.You have my respect and sympathy.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you've been able to get a holiday in. All the best.
Nundanket,
DeleteCheers! Thanks very much for your kind words and support. I am hoping that the short break and my increased dose of Levothyroxine will help me regain both my energy and my ability to concentrate ... and then I can begin some serious wargaming again!
All the best,
Bob