I have been playing around with ChatGPT again, this time to create images of Sultan Chor Darrai and the Byzantine general Demis Roussos. The results look liked this:
The Seljuk general, Sultan Chor Darrai.
I was rather impressed with the end results, and will probably use this facility again to produce more images of myself (and others) in various roles.The Byzantine general, Demis Roussos.
The front cover of the first edition of H G Wells' LITTLE WARS.
The title page of the 1966 reprint H G Wells' LITTLE WARS. It was produced by Quantum Reprints. I own a copy of the 1970 reprint that was published by Arms and Armour Press.
As a follow up to my recent book review of Paul Holcroft Wright's latest book, I have transcribed the Appendix from H G Wells' LITTLE WARS and it is shown below.
LITTLE WARS AND KRIEGSPIEL
This little book has, I hope, been perfectly frank about its intentions. It is not a book upon Kriegspiel. It gives merely a game that may be played by two or four or six amateurish persons in an afternoon and evening with toy soldiers. But it has a very distinct relation to Kriegspiel; and since the main portion of it was written and published in a magazine, I have had quite a considerable correspondence with military people who have been interested by it, and who have shown a very friendly spirit towards it – in spite of the pacific outbreak in its concluding section. They tell me – what I already a little suspected – that Kriegspiel, as it is played by the British Army, is a very dull and unsatisfactory exercise, lacking in realism, in stir and the unexpected, obsessed by the umpire at every turn, and of very doubtful value in waking up the imagination, which should be its chief function. I am particularly indebted to Colonel Mark Sykes for advice and information in this matter. He has pointed out to me the possibility of developing Little Wars into a vivid and inspiring Kriegspiel, in which the element of the umpire would be reduced to a minimum; and it would be ungrateful to him, and a waste of an interesting opportunity, if I did not add this Appendix, pointing out how a Kriegspiel of real educational value for junior officers may be developed out of the amusing methods of Little War. If Great War is to be played at all, the better it is played the more humanely it will be done. I see no inconsistency in deploring the practice while perfecting the method. But I am a civilian, and Kriegspiel is not my proper business. I am deeply preoccupied with a novel I am writing, and so I think the best thing I can do is just to set down here all the ideas that have cropped up in my mind, in the footsteps, so to speak, of Colonel Sykes, and leave it to the military expert, if he cares to take the matter up, to reduce my scattered suggestions to a system.
Now, first, it is manifest that in Little Wars there is no equivalent for rifle-fire, and that the effect of the gunfire has no resemblance to the effect of shell. That may be altered very simply. Let the rules as to gunfire be as they are now, but let a different projectile be used – a projectile that will drop down and stay where it falls. I find that one can buy in ironmongers' shops small brass screws of various sizes and weights, but all capable of being put in the muzzle of the 4.7 guns without slipping down the barrel. If, with such a screw in the muzzle, the gun is loaded and fired, the wooden bolt remains in the gun and the screw flies and drops and stays near where it falls – its range being determined by the size and weight of screw selected by the gunner. Let us assume this is a shell, and it is quite easy to make a rule that will give the effect of its explosion. Half, or, in the case of an odd number, one more than half, of the men within three inches of this shell are dead, and if there is a gun completely within the circle of three inches radius from the shell, it is destroyed. If it is not completely within the circle, it is disabled for two moves. A supply waggon is completely destroyed if it falls wholly or partially within the radius. But if there is a wall, house, or entrenchment between any men and the shell, they are uninjured – they do not count in the reckoning of the effect of the shell.
I think one can get a practical imitation of the effect of rifle-fire by deciding that for every five infantrymen who are roughly in a line, and who do not move in any particular move, there may be one (ordinary) shot taken with a 4.7 gun. It may be fired from any convenient position behind the row of five men, so long as the shot passes roughly over the head of the middle man of the five.
Of course, while in Little Wars there are only three or four players, in any proper Kriegspiel the game will go on over a larger area – in a drill-hall or some such place – and each arm and service will be entrusted to a particular player. This permits all sorts of complicated imitations of reality that are impossible to our parlour and playroom Little Wars. We can consider transport, supply, ammunition, and the moral effect of cavalry impact, and of uphill and downhill movements. We can also bring in the spade and entrenchment, and give scope to the Royal Engineers. But before I write anything of Colonel Sykes' suggestions about these, let me say a word or two about Kriegspiel "country."
The country for Kriegspiel should be made up, I think, of heavy blocks or boxes of wood about 3 x 3 x 1/2 feet, and curved pieces (with a rounded outline and a chord of three feet, or shaped like right-angled triangles with an incurved hypotenuse and two straight sides of 3 feet) can easily be contrived to round off corners and salient angles. These blocks can be bored to take trees, etc., exactly as the boards in Little Wars are bored, and with them a very passable model of any particular country can be built up from a contoured Ordnance map. Houses may be made very cheaply by shaping a long piece of wood into a house-like section and sawing it up. There will always be someone who will touch up and paint and stick windows on to and generally adorn and individualise such houses, which are, of course, the stabler the heavier the wood used. The rest of the country as in Little Wars.
Upon such a country a Kriegspiel could be played with rules upon the lines of the following sketch rules, which are the result of a discussion between Colonel Sykes and myself, and in which most of the new ideas are to be ascribed to Colonel Sykes. We proffer them, not as a finished set of rules, but as material for anyone who chooses to work over them, in the elaboration of what we believe will be a far more exciting and edifying Kriegspiel than any that exists at the present time. The game may be played by any number of players, according to the forces engaged and the size of the country available. Each side will be under the supreme command of a General, who will be represented by a cavalry soldier. The player who is General must stand at or behind his representative image and within six feet of it. His signalling will be supposed to be perfect, and he will communicate with his subordinates by shout, whisper, or note, as he thinks fit. I suggest he should be considered invulnerable, but Colonel Sykes has proposed arrangements for his disablement. He would have it that if the General falls within the zone of destruction of a shell he must go out of the room for three moves (injured); and that if he is hit by rifle-fire or captured he shall quit the game, and be succeeded by his next subordinate.
Now as to the Moves.
It is suggested that:
Infantry.
Cavalry.
Artillery.
NEITHER INFANTRY, CAVALRY, NOR ARTILLERY CAN FIRE AND MOVE IN ONE MOVE.
Royal Engineers.
Transport and Supply.
Next as to Supply in the Field:
N.B. – Supplies are not effective if enemy is between supplies and troops they belong to.
Now as to Destructions:
Next as to Constructions:
[* Notice to be given to umpire of commencement of any work or the placing of a mine. In event of no umpire being available, a folded note must be put on the mantelpiece when entrenchment is commenced, and opponent asked to open it when the trench is completed, or the mine exploded.
Rules as to Cavalry Charging:
The introduction of toy railway trains, moving, let us say, eight feet per move, upon toy rails, needs rules as to entraining and detraining and so forth, that will be quite easily worked out upon the model of boat embarkation here given. An engine or truck within the circle of destruction of a shell will be of course destroyed.
The toy soldiers used in this Kriegspiel should not be the large soldiers used in Little Wars. The British manufacturers who turn out these also make a smaller, cheaper type of man – the infantry about an inch high – which is better adapted to Kriegspiel purposes.
We hope, if these suggestions "catch on," to induce them to manufacture a type of soldier more exactly suited to the needs of the game, including tray carriers for troops in formation and (what is at present not attainable) dismountable cavalry that will stand.
We place this rough sketch of a Kriegspiel entirely at the disposal of any military men whose needs and opportunities enable them to work it out and make it into an exacter and more realistic game. In doing so, we think they will find it advisable to do their utmost to make the game work itself, and to keep the need for umpire's decisions at a minimum. Whenever possible, death should be by actual gun- and rifle-fire and not by computation. Things should happen, and not be decided. We would also like to insist upon the absolute need of an official upon either side, simply to watch and measure the moves taken, and to collect and check the amounts of supply and ammunition given up. This is a game like real war, played against time, and played under circumstances of considerable excitement, and it is remarkable how elastic the measurements of quite honest and honourable men can become.
We believe that the nearer that Kriegspiel approaches to an actual small model of war, not only in its appearance but in its emotional and intellectual tests, the better it will serve its purpose of trial and education.
It is interesting to note that Wells recommends the use of 'a smaller, cheaper type of man – the infantry about an inch high' ... which sounds as if he advocating the use of 25/28mm figures! I was not aware that Britains had manufactured such small figures, but as the following scale guide from their 1940 catalogue shows, they certainly did so by the middle of the twentieth century.
A dictionary definition of a pleasaunce is 'a pleasure-garden; a region of garden with the sole purpose of giving pleasure to the senses but not offering fruit or sustenance.' It is thought that the word takes its origin from the former Royal Palace of Placentia or Palace of Pleasaunce which was also known as Greenwich Palace.
Greenwich Palace before it was demolished in the 1660s to make way for the Royal Greenwich Hospital.
It is not a word that one sees or hears in use much these days, but within the boundaries of the Royal Borough of Greenwich there are two places that include the word in their names, the Well Hall Pleasaunce and the East Greenwich Pleasaunce.
The area occupied by the East Greenwich Pleasaunce was originally owned by the Page-Turner family as part of their Westcombe Estate. They sold it in 1856 to the Admiralty for £6,000 for use as a cemetery as the existing one near the Royal Naval Hospital was already full.
Between 1836 and 1838 the London and Greenwich Railway – which was the first steam-powered railway in London – was built.
The route of the London and Greenwich Railway. It was built on a brick viaduct from Tooley Street (later London Bridge) to Greenwich via Deptford.
When the railway was extended eastwards towards Charlton and Woolwich, a railway tunnel (the Maze Hill Tunnel) needed to be built, and as this was going to pass underneath the existing graveyard, the remains of around 3000 sailors and officers – including some who had fought in the Battle of Trafalgar and during the Crimean War – were removed from the hospital site in 1875 and reinterred in the Pleasaunce.
An 1884 map showing the location of the Royal Hospital Cemetery.
In 1925 more bodies were reinterred from the former hospital graveyard to make way for the Devonport nurses home. The following year, the Pleasaunce was sold by the Admiralty to the Metropolitan Borough of Greenwich (the forerunner of the Royal Borough of Greenwich), although the did reserve the right to use the site for further burials. Subsequently, the whole area was remodelled so that it could serve as a park.
Some photographs of the East Greenwich Pleasaunce
A small stone block that commemorates the opening of the Royal Hospital Cemetery in 1857.
Near the entrance to the Pleasaunce is a large memorial that commemorates the fact that 3,000 bodies from the original Royal Hospital Cemetery were reinterred there in 1875.
I hope to write a further blog post about some of the people who were buried in the Pleasaunce.
Before I write my review, I must make the reader aware that I have known the author for many years and have taken part in several wargames that he has organised. These include:
As a result, the reader might think that my review will be in some way biased ... and in all honesty, it probably is, but only because I know how much thought has gone into this author's writing and how much fun his wargames have been to take part in!
Back in 2013, Paul Holcroft Wright published FUNNY LITTLE WARS: A GENTLEMAN'S PREOCCUPATION ...
... and LITTLE CAMPAIGNS: RULES FOR THE CONDUCT OF WAR GAME CAMPAIGNS IN MINIATURE ...
... to commemorate the hundredth anniversary of the publication of H G Wells's LITTLE WARS in 1913.
The latter contained a wonderful campaign map …
… and a history of one of the campaigns that he had fought, The Herring War.
In 2022 he published a new, revised edition of his FUNNY LITTLE WARS book …
... and he is now going to publish a new volume in this series, GARDEN CAMPAIGNS: INCORPORATING THE KRIEGSPIEL SUGGESTIONS OF MR HG WELLS.
The author has taken H G Wells' Kriegspiel rules as his starting point for the rules in this book. Wells' original Kriegspiel rules were written in conjunction with Colonel Sir Mark Sykes and form part of Wells' LITTLE WARS. It was the intention of the authors that these rules would be used by the British Army in place of the existing kriegsspiel-based system that were described as being 'over-umpired' and 'very dull, lacking in realism, in stir and the unexpected ... and of very doubtful value in waking up the imagination'.
The book is split into two parts.
Garden Campaign notes
Although these campaign rules have been written for wargames that are going to be fought on a garden lawn or the floor of a large room, they are eminently suitable for use in any wargame campaign. In particular, the logistics and supply rules can easily be used or modified for any campaign set after the large-scale introduction of firearms.
It is worth noting that the chapter entitled THE CAMPAIGN AS A SIEGE is almost a separate set of wargame rules in itself, and covers the three main stages of siege craft:
The CAMPAIGN SCENARIOS chapter draws heavily upon William Le Quex's book, THE INVASION OF 1910. Le Quex wrote the book as a warning about the growing threat of Imperial Germany and Britain's military unpreparedness to resist an invasion, and it was published in instalments by the national newspaper, the DAILY MAIL. (It is worth noting that this was not the only book that contained such warnings. Others include Sir George Tomkyns Chesney's THE BATTLE OF DORKING, Le Quex's earlier THE GREAT WAR IN ENGLAND IN 1897, Erskine Childers' RIDDLE OF THE SANDS, and Saki's (i.e. Hector Hugh Munro's) WHEN WILLIAM CAME ... the latter being published in the same year as Wells; LITTLE WARS.)
The author uses the Battle of Royston and the Siege of London as featured in Le Quex's book as the basis for two scenarios, respectively for a map campaign and three interlinked games covering the investment of, bombardment of, and assault on London. He provides a set of Army Lists and Victory Conditions for each, and in my opinion, these scenarios alone are worth the price of the book!
In conclusion, I have no hesitation in recommending this book to any wargamer who has ever contemplated fighting a wargame of their lawn or on the floor of a large room, or who enjoys fighting wargames set in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, or who enjoys reading well-written and thought-provoking wargame books.
GARDEN CAMPAIGNS: INCORPORATING THE KRIEGSPIEL SUGGESTIONS OF MR HG WELLS has been written by Paul Holcroft Wright and will be published in 2025 by Battlefield History Ltd. (ISBN 978 1 4583 7005 1.
Some notes
Way back in the 1960s, we studied Shakespeare's play HENRY V at school. For one homework we were set the task of learning the speech made by the King before Honfleur ... and to this day I can remember the first half of it. As it ends with the words 'Cry 'God for Harry, England, and St George!'', it seemed rather appropriate to share it with my regular blog readers today, it being St George's Day.
Henry V, Act 3, Scene I. France. Before Harfleur.
Alarum. Enter KING HENRY, EXETER, BEDFORD, GLOUCESTER, and Soldiers, with scaling-ladders
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'
Exeunt. Alarum, and chambers go off.
I recently had the opportunity to take part in an online wargame that continued the action covered in Professor Gary Sheffield's recent Battle of Caesar's Hill.
I took on the role of Sultan Chor Durrai of the Seljuk Turks, who, following the defeat of the Seljuk army at the Battle of Caesar's Hill, has rallied the defeated troops and lead them forward in a last attempt to expel the Byzantine invaders from Seljuk territory.
The troops available to Sultan Chor Durrai were as follows:
The Byzantine forces included:
The strategic situation:
After the Battle of Caesar's Hill, the Byzantine army advanced towards the city of Edessa. When the local Seljuk governor received new that Sultan Chor Durrai had rallied the army and was advancing from the north, he refused to surrender. As a result, the Byzantine general, Demis Roussos, settled down to besiege the city of Edessa, but his army was soon affected and weakened by an outbreak of dysentery. The city was therefore able to hold out in the hope of relief, even though food supplies were running out. News eventually reached Sultan Chor Durrai that unless the siege was raised soon, Edessa would be forced to surrender.
The Seljuk objective was to decisively defeat the Byzantine army, thus allowing Edessa to be relieved. If the Byzantines were able to win or even draw the battle, Edessa would be forced to surrender and the Seljuks would have to seek a peaceful end to the fighting. The fate of the entire levant was in the balance ...
The battlefield:
The battlefield was a 7 x 10 square grid with two wooded areas.
The Seljuks entered from the top edge of the battlefield and the Byzantines entered from the opposite edge.
My battle plan:
My plan was simple. I placed two of my Bow-armed Light Horse units on my left flank, the other two on my right flank, placed my Bow-armed Light Infantry unit in the wooded area, and co-located myself with my Heavy Cavalry unit in support of the Light Horse on the left flank.
I hoped to entice the Byzantine Heavy Cavalry facing the two Light Horse units on my right flank into a battle, and then using the Light Infantry in the wood as a pivot, outflank and roll up the Byzantine units facing my left flank.
Initially the plan worked ... but the Byzantine Heavy Cavalry proved to be a tough nut to crack, and they soon destroyed my Light Horse unit. On the other flank, my Light Horse units made some progress against the Byzantine forces opposing them, but the Byzantines fought harder than I had expected and before my troops could prevail, my army reached its Exhaustion Point and I had to fall back.
The Byzantines had won and it looked as if I would have to negotiate a peace settlement ... but I still had some troops left should the Byzantines choose to continue the fight.
The following are some of the photographs Gary took of the battle.
Please note that the photographs featured above are © Professor Gary Sheffield.
I was listening to a story about the late Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher giving a speech to a dinner for veterans. At the end of her speech, she quoted a poem by Rudyard Kipling, NORMAN AND SAXON AD 1100 … and received a standing ovation.
As someone who - according to their ancestral DNA - has both Norman and Saxon ancestors, I refreshed my memory be re-reading the poem. In many ways it summarises that stubborn aspect of the English that many generations of non-English people have learned about the hard way.
"My son," said the Norman Baron, "I am dying, and you will be heir
To all the broad acres in England that William gave me for share
When he conquered the Saxon at Hastings, and a nice little handful it is.
But before you go over to rule it I want you to understand this:–
"The Saxon is not like us Normans. His manners are not so polite.
But he never means anything serious till he talks about justice and right.
When he stands like an ox in the furrow – with his sullen set eyes on your own,
And grumbles, 'This isn't fair dealing,' my son, leave the Saxon alone.
"You can horsewhip your Gascony archers, or torture your Picardy spears;
But don't try that game on the Saxon; you'll have the whole brood round your ears.
From the richest old Thane in the county to the poorest chained serf in the field,
They'll be at you and on you like hornets, and, if you are wise, you will yield.
"But first you must master their language, their dialect, proverbs and songs.
Don't trust any clerk to interpret when they come with the tale of their wrongs.
Let them know that you know what they're saying; let them feel that you know what to say.
Yes, even when you want to go hunting, hear 'em out if it takes you all day.
"They'll drink every hour of the daylight and poach every hour of the dark.
It's the sport not the rabbits they're after (we've plenty of game in the park).
Don't hang them or cut off their fingers. That's wasteful as well as unkind,
For a hard-bitten, South-country poacher makes the best man-at-arms you can find.
"Appear with your wife and the children at their weddings and funerals and feasts.
Be polite but not friendly to Bishops; be good to all poor parish priests.
Say 'we,' 'us' and 'ours' when you're talking, instead of 'you fellows' and 'I.'
Don't ride over seeds; keep your temper; and never you tell 'em a lie!"
Professor Gary Sheffield recently completed the first battle of a solo campaign that pitted the army of Byzantium against the Seljuk Turks. The following text and photographs were featured in three posts he wrote on the Portable Wargame Facebook page.
Background to the campaign
It is May 1000, and following their victory, the Byzantines under Demis Roussos have pursued the Seljuk Turks to near the gates of the city of Edessa. Although the new sultan, Shish Kebab, sued for peace (i.e. the strategic die role reduced the level of hostility towards Byzantium) the Byzantine terms were too stiff and therefore the Turks decided to fight on.
Eager to exploit what they were believed was disarray in the Turks' ranks, the Byzantine sent an advanced guard westward towards Caesar's Hill, a strategically important piece of high land on the otherwise pretty featureless Edessa plain (the hill was named after a Roman commander who had passed that way some 800 years before). The Turks had likewise dispatched a rear-guard eastward towards Caesar's Hill, and the result was a classic encounter battle with units coming on in dribs and drabs, with the battle swinging first one way and then the other.
Turn 1
Turn 2
Turn 3
Turn 6
Turn 7
Turn 8
Turn 9
Turn 14
Turn 16
This was a resounding Byzantine victory – albeit one that was only sealed on the very last move.
Thoughts on the battle
This was a very entertaining game. The nature of the scenario, with the piecemeal arrival of reinforcements, decided by roles of the dice, both for their timing and their place of arrival, meant that this was a very 'bitty' and unpredictable battle. For most of the battle the Seljuk Turks seem to have the upper hand, only for the Byzantine Heavy Cavalry, led by General Demis Roussos, to arrive in the nick of time. Somehow I miscounted and played 16 turns rather than 15. Clearly it was a very bright moon that night which enabled the battle to continue into the hours of darkness.
Please note that the photographs featured above are © Professor Gary Sheffield.
I have just uploaded a new YouTube video to the Wargaming Miscellany YouTube channel.
It is entitled A REVIEW AND PLAY-TEST OF THE DOMINION OF THE SPEAR AND BAYONET RULES and lasts just under twelve minutes.
The video can be found here on the Wargaming Miscellany YouTube channel.
After a great deal of thought – and not a little research – I decided this morning that I am not going to go to SALUTE this year. This might seem a little odd as the show takes place so close to where I live that I can see the venue (The ExCel Centre London) from the front drive of my house! What put me off going was both getting there and how I was going to get about once I was.
Public transport – which would have cost me nothing thanks to me Freedom Pass – was a non-starter due to my mobility problems. I have to use two walking sticks when walking around, and if I have to step up or down, I need substantial handrails ... and the distance I would have to step up or down to use the local single-decker buses is just a little too high for me to do with any degree of safety. Even if I had been able to take the bus to the local Elizabeth Line station in Woolwich – which is an accessible one – the distance I would have to walk from Customs House to the ExCel Centre along a crowded walkway would have taken me a long time and would have been very tiring.
Thanks to the Blackwall Tunnel and the newly opened Silvertown Tunnel, I could have driven to the ExCel Centre, and it was possible to reserve a Blue Badge parking spot. However, once there I would have had to walk everywhere using my walking sticks. I did look at booking a mobility scooter, but there were none left, and although there were wheelchairs available, I would have need someone to push me around. Sue did offer to do this, but I thought that she would have found it very physically draining.
I will miss meeting my many wargaming friends and fellow bloggers, but in the end I decided that the problems outweighed the benefits of going, so with a heavy heart I chose to give SALUTE a miss this year.
When I fought my recent play-test of Steve Parker's DOMINION OF THE SPEAR AND BAYONET rules I used the Mahdist and Egyptian Army Lists that are included in the booklet. These were as follows:
Mahdist War (1881 - 1899 AD)
In the DOMINION OF THE SPEAR AND BAYONET SUPPLEMENT the Army Lists for the Battle of El Obeid - which saw the Mahdists defeat an Egyptian force led by Hicks Pasha - were as follows:
Battle of El Obeid (1883)
Interestingly, in the latter Army Lists there are no Elite troops on either side.
At some point I may well re-fight the Battle of El Obeid to see if Hicks Pasha will do better than Higgs Pasha, who commanded the Egyptians in my play-test.
Whilst I was on our recent cruise, Steve Parker sent me a copy of the expansion supplement for his DOMINION OF THE SPEAR AND BAYONET rules.
The booklet contains information relating to thirty-six historical Colonial battles. Each entry includes:
The battles included in the booklet are:
DOMINION OF THE SPEAR AND BAYONET SUPPLEMENT was written by Steve Parker and published in 2025 by Orc Publishing. It is available to buy online in PDF format from Wargame Vault for £4.40/$5.66.
Some time ago, a couple of London-based Freemasons thought that it might be a good idea to organise a group cruise for other Masons. They floated the idea on Facebook, and when I mentioned it to Sue, she thought that it would be a good idea to book a couple of places … so we did!
Tuesday 1st April: Southampton
Having packed on Monday night, all we had to do was to get up, get ready, have some breakfast, load the car, and then set off for Southampton. Sue and I had planned to leave by 8.30am but were slightly delayed and didn’t finally set off until just after 9.00am. We joined the M25 at the Dartford interchange some twenty minutes later, and despite there being a 50mph speed limit in place for a large part of the journey around the southern part of the orbital motorway, we joined the M3 not long after 10.15am. We had reached Winchester Services by 10.55am, and after a short comfort break, we were back on the road to Southampton by 11.05am.
For some reason, the postcode we had been given for the cruise terminal proved to be incorrect, and after a somewhat frustrating drive across the suburbs of Southampton and along the main road that runs alongside the docks, we finally arrived at the valet parking area for Ocean Terminal just before midday. We booked our car in, handed our luggage over to a porter, and made our way into the terminal building so that we could do all the pre-boarding procedures before we went aboard MV Iona.
Because of our experience on our Christmas cruise, we booked assisted boarding for this cruise … and this speeded up the process of getting aboard. I was whisked by wheelchair to the booking-in desk, and once the formalities were completed, taken to the security gate. My hand luggage was scanned, I was given a pat down search whilst in my wheelchair, and then I was pushed aboard. My pusher made sure that I visited the right Muster Station to book in before taking me to the Pearl Restaurant (Deck 6 Aft) for lunch. Once I was seated comfortably, she left me to it and Sue and I have a very nice buffet lunch.
At 1.30pm a general announcement was made to the effect that all cabins were now ready for occupation, and ten minutes later we set off to find our suite. It was on Deck 11 Forward … and getting there proved to be somewhat more difficult than we had expected. Luckily, our Cabin Steward – John – was on hand to help. He brought our luggage into our suite and checked that we had everything that we needed.
The view across Southampton Docks from our suite balcony.
We had begun unpacking when our butler – Anil – arrived. He had served us on our previous cruise and we were able to have a chat with him about his period of leave after he left MV Ventura in January and before joining MS Iona in March.
After Anil had left, we complete our unpacking and had time for a short rest before going to the Clubhouse (Deck 8 Aft) for an informal meeting of the Freemasons and their partners. By this time the ship was off Portsmouth and we saw two Royal Navy minehunters that were apparently making their way back towards the harbour as we sailed past them.
Portsmouth's Spinnaker Tower dominates the skyline.
One of the two Royal Navy minehunters that we saw off the coast near Portsmouth.
The second of the Royal Navy minehunters that we saw.
Sue and I met up with two other couples, one whom were from Hertfordshire – the Masonic Province that I am a member of – and the other who were former prison officers who had met whilst working at our local prison, HMP Belmarsh! We were enjoying a quiet drink and a chat when it was announced that the family disco was about to start in the Clubhouse, and that a ‘celebrity’ would be joining everyone soon afterwards. The disco turned out to be very load and the ‘celebrity’ was some poor member of the entertainment team dressed up in a Wallace costume and carrying a large Gromit under his arm! At this point we all gave up trying to talk and made our separate ways out.
Sue and I have just enough time for a short spell in the open air on Deck 18 before returning to our suite to get ready for dinner. We had a pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest (Deck 17 Forward) before going to the Epicurean Restaurant (Deck 17 Forward) for an excellent dinner. After dinner we returned to our suite to read and rest before getting ready for bed, but we were both so tired that we were both in bed and asleep by 11.00pm.
Wednesday 2nd April: At sea
Overnight the ship’s clocks had been advanced by an hour and when we awoke at 8.00am Iona was sailing slowly along the south coast of England.
We were in the Epicurean restaurant having breakfast by just after 9.30am, after which we went into the Crow’s Nest to sit and read for a while. In fact, we stayed there until nearly 1.30pm. The sunlight streaming through the windows, coupled with the gentle rocking of the ship, made it very soporific and extremely restful in there ... and both Sue and I dozed at least once during our stay.
On our return to our suite, we discovered an invitation to go to lunch with some of the other Freemasons who were on the cruise, but as the lunch was at midday and we didn’t see the invitation until it was over, we missed this opportunity.
Just after 2.45pm, Sue and I went down to The Quays (Deck 8 Midships) for a snack lunch. It was very crowded when got there, but by just after 3.00pm people began to leave in large numbers, and thirty minutes later most of the tables were vacant. After a walk along Deck 8, we returned to our suite to read and rest, and that is how we spent our time until we had to begin to think about getting ready for the only formal dinner of the cruise. We had booked places at what is known as The Chef’s Table. This was held on every formal evening in part of the ship’s self-service restaurant – The Horizon – which is on Deck 16 Aft.
We decide to go for a pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest before taking the lift down one deck and walking from one end of the ship to the other. After an excellent dinner – during which we had interesting chats with the couples on the adjoining tables – we returned to our suite, watched the news on TV, and were in bed reading by just after 11.00pm.
Thursday 3rd April: Zeebrugge
Sue and I awoke just after Iona docked in Zeebrugge at 7.30am. We were in the Epicurean Restaurant eating breakfast by 9.15am, after which we went up to the open deck area on Deck 18. Once the bulk of those going on organised trips or taking the shuttle bus to nearby Blankenberge had disembarked, Sue and I went back to our suite to prepare to go ashore.
At 11.10am we took the shuttle bus to the centre of Blankenberge. The journey took about twenty minutes, and we were dropped off in a square adjoining the railway station, the local town hall, and the main police station. From there, we walked up the main street that leads towards the beach, doing window shopping along the way.
The Saint Antony's Church (Sint-Antoniuskerk), Blankenberge.
Blankenberge's main shopping street.
It is some years since we last visited Blankenberge and we were struck by how many shops seemed to have closed down and not been replaced. Luckily, our favourite chocolate shop – Moeder Babelutte – was not one of them and we stocked up on a variety of their excellent chocolates.
(It was interesting to note that the grumpy salesman who was working behind the counter the last time we visited is still there. The only difference is that he has gone grey, but his manner is still as terse as it ever was!)
Sue and I had hoped to be able to find somewhere to sit and have a drink, but those bars that were open – and there weren’t many – were full. In the end, we gave up and caught the shuttle bus back to the cruise terminal in Zeebrugge. This wasn’t there the last time we were in the town, and everyone had to get out of the shuttle bas, pass through the security checks, and then board another shuttle bus back to the ship!
Once we were back aboard Iona at 1.30pm, Sue and I dropped off our coats and bags in our suite and then went up to the Beachcomber Bar (Deck 18 Forward) for some much-needed liquid refreshment. After we had drunk our drinks, we set off for the Horizon self-service restaurant for some lunch. We ate lunch, had another drink, and by 3.15pm we were back in our suite reading and resting. Our butler visited us at 5.00pm, and after a chat with him, we watched some TV before getting ready for dinner.
Sue and I had a pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest before walking almost the full length of the ship to have our meal in the Coral Restaurant (Deck 7 Aft). After dinner, Sue and I returned to our suite to read for a time before getting ready for bed.
Friday 4th April: Le Havre
Sue and I were woken up at about 7.30am by the sound and vibration of Iona using her thrusters to turn so that she could come alongside her berth. As a result, we were able to get washed and dressed at a leisurely pace before going to have breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant. The weather was predicted to be warm, so after breakfast Sue and I went up to the open deck area, only to discover that it was overcast, windy, and cold. We then returned to our suite to wait until the excursion coaches had left.
The view of Le Havre from our suite's balcony.
At 11.00am we made our way down to the accessible gangway on Deck 6 Midships, only to discover that there was a long queue to get off. Apparently, the second gangway was being moved by a dockside crane, and this meant that everyone trying to disembark was having to use one gangway. Furthermore, the dockside crane was moving through the area disembarking passengers had to walk past to get to the cruise terminal, and for safety reasons this necessitated frequent pauses in the disembarkation process. Sue and I finally made it ashore by 11.30pm and joined the queue for the shuttle bus into the centre of Le Havre. Unfortunately, only two of the coaches being used were accessible for passengers with mobility problems, and we had to wait until one came along before we could travel to the centre of the city.
To put it bluntly, Le Havre proved to be a disappointment. We were dropped off near the Hotel de Ville (Town Hall) and had expected that the area would have lots of bars and cafés as well as numerous interesting shop whose window we could look through. As it was, the town hall was on one side of a pleasant little park, but on the streets around it we were only able to find one café that was open … and that was full of cruise passengers from Iona!
Le Havre's Hotel de Ville (Town Hall).
The park in front of Le Havre's Hotel de Ville (Town Hall).
As to the shops … well, we found one selling fresh seafood, another hiring out electric bicycles, one selling orthopaedic shoes, and one selling expensive clothes and accessories. We knew they were expensive as nothing had a visible price tag!
In the end, we gave up trying to find somewhere to get a drink or where we could buy a souvenir and caught the next shuttle bus back to the ship. In the terminal building, Sue did mange to buy a Le Havre shot glass to add to her collection, and by 12.45pm we had arrived back at our suite. By this time we were both very thirsty, and after dropping our coasts and bags off, we made our way up to the Beachcomber Bar to have a drink … only to find that it was shut! As a result, we ended up in the nearly empty Crow’s Nest, where we were finally able to get a much-needed drink!
Suitably refreshed, Sue and I returned to our suite, and whilst I began drafting the text of this blog post, She wrote up her cruise log. We did this until just before 3.00pm, at which point we went down to The Quays for lunch. By sheer coincidence, Sue and I sat next to a table that was occupied by a fellow Hertfordshire Freemason and we chatted with them as we ate. We parted company just after 4.00pm, and after a spell sitting together in the open area on Deck 18, Sue and I returned to our suite to begin the process of packing our bags.
We took our time doing this, and took several breaks. During one of these, our butler – Anil – came to wish us a good journey home and we were able to have a long chat with him about his career with P&O. After Anil had left us, we finished packing all but one of our bags, and when we left our suite for dinner, we left this luggage outside our door for collection.
After a lot of deliberation, Sue and I decided that we were not very hungry and looked at the various options available to us. We rejected the three-course menu available in the main restaurants, and almost all the other informal dining options were either booked or their menus were unattractive. In the end, we had our pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest and then went to the Horizon self-service restaurant. I had steak and chips and Sue ate a ham salad … and that was more than enough for both of us.
Once we had eaten, we returned to our suite and finished packing our last bag before putting it outside our suite's door for collection. We were both feeling quite tired, and were in bed by 11.00pm.
Saturday 5th April: Southampton
We set our alarm to go off at 7.00am, but the sound and vibration caused by the operation of the ship’s thrusters as the ship moored alongside her berth at the Ocean Terminal in Southampton woke us up well before then. As a result, Sue and I were ready to go to breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant at 7.45am.
By 8.30am we had finished eating and were on our way to the Limelight’s Bar (Deck 6 Midships) which was the meeting point for passengers – like me – who had booked assisted disembarkation. As soon as I was booked in, I was seated in a wheelchair and – accompanied by Sue – on my way to the gangway.
Once we had reached the baggage reclaim hall, the person who was pushing my wheelchair summoned a porter, and with Sue’s help they collected our luggage. Within minutes, we were through Customs and on our way to the valet parking area. Once there, the wheelchair pusher collected our car keys for me and then wheeled me to our car. At the same time, the porter accompanied us and loaded our luggage into our car. This was even more efficiently done than the assisted boarding process on Tuesday!
We drove out of the car park at 8.50am and were soon on our way to the M3. However, soon after joining the M3 we noticed signs next to the motorway that announced that it was shut between junctions 7 and 6.
Sue and I decided that we needed to stop at Winchester Services and work out how we were going to get home. In the end, we used Goggle Maps as it is better at finding alternative routes than my car’s sat nav. It directed us down the M3 as far as Junction 8 … which meant that we ended up stuck in a traffic queue for over half an hour. However, once we reached the junction, we turned right towards Dummer whilst everyone else turned left towards Basingstoke and the A30.
(This turned out to have been a sensible thing to do as there were reports of several accidents on the official/recommended diversion route.)
Our route took us down a number of country roads until we joined the B3046, which took us to the A339 and thence back towards the east of Basingstoke. Just before the A339 passed under the M3, we turned right and followed some more country roads until we drove under the M3 and joined the London Road (A30). We drove eastwards until we reached the junction with the A287, where we turned right towards Junction 8 of the M3. Once back on the M3, we soon reached the Fleet Services where we stopped for a quick drink and a comfort break.
Less than thirty minutes later we rejoined the M3 and by just before 12.30pm we had joined the anticlockwise M25. There was a 50mph speed limit in place for much of the drive, and we were further delayed by a car crash near the junction with the A2 that had caused a minor traffic jam.
Sue and I finally got home a few minutes before 2.00pm. Our journey – including two stops – had taken us about five hours … which is twice as long as we would normally have expected!
