Back in July, I wrote a blog post about getting old … and recently I received an unsolicited email from a 'legal advisory service' asking if I had my personal matters in order (e.g. Will, Enduring Power of Attorney), and offering to 'help' me ... for a fee!
As it happens, these matters have been sorted out for some time, and Sue and I have no concerns in that department. However, one fact in the email stood out; the average life expectancy of a man like me who was born in 1950 is 87 years, with a 50% chance that I will reach that age (These figures were produced by the Office for National Statistics) and that I have a one-in-four chance of reaching the age of 92.
Almost five years ago, I was diagnosed with a cancerous polyp in my large intestine, and on 2nd December 2020 – at the height of the COVID pandemic – I had an operation to remove it. This left me with a stoma ... which has been an inconvenience but nothing more. Then – on 14th April 2022 – I was diagnosed as having prostate cancer, and on 19th of that month I began the treatment that was designed to halt its further growth and spread.
On 1st June 2022 I underwent a TURP (Transurethral resection of the prostate) at University Hospital Lewisham and was allowed home the next day. Since then, I had a course of chemotherapy drugs that lasted until earlier this year and – from September to the end of October 2023 – I underwent a course of radiotherapy directed at my prostate cancer and the nearby lymph glands.
Just as I thought that things might settle down to something approaching normality, I began to experience problems with my legs. This culminated with me falling over on 10th April 2024 and breaking my right leg just above the ankle. As a result, I spent nearly three weeks in hospital, followed by thirteen weeks confined to bed, during which I was diagnosed as having axonal polyneuropathy. Thanks to the local council's Reablement Team, I learned to walk again ... but my mobility is now permanently impaired and will not get better.
Seeing the email from the 'legal advisory service' and life expectancy prediction gave me rather a jolt ... and I have been doing a lot of thinking about my future, both in general and wargaming terms. I have not yet reached any serious conclusions, but the plans I made not long ago may well need to be reappraised.
BOB,
ReplyDeleteI'm 69 and my Father was 84 when he passed - my Mother was 64 and was my Brother Lloyd. I do think about age and if I make 79 things will be doing well. Regards. KEV.
Kev Robertson (Kev),
DeleteWhen you are young , things like aging don’t worry you … and until five years ago, it never really concerned me much. Now, things have changed, and I’ve come to the realisation that it’s something that I need to think about.
As far as wargaming is concerned, I don’t want to leave behind huge collections of figures that I haven’t used for years and that someone else is going to have to deal with. Likewise, my book collection needs culling so that it will take up less space.
I’m not sure yet where this line of thinking is going to take me, but things are gradually beginning to become less opaque.
All the best,
Bob
It is a sobering thought Bob and one that probably concerns a lot of us at the "grey" end of the hobby.Like you I have had my health problems and they could well impinge on how long I manage to live to, I too have way too many projects and will have to give some thought to my collection. Rather depressing thoughts but ones that have to be addressed.
ReplyDeleteDonnie McGibbon,
DeleteIt is a rather somber and sobering topic … but ignoring the passage of time and its consequences won’t stop the inevitable. In my opinion, it is better to plan for it and have some control over events than not to.
May we both live long and active lives,
Bob
Here's to 92! I'm 63 and had triple bypass surgery four years ago, and was lucky I happened to go into the hospital for something else or it wouldn't have been caught. I have heart failure and that won't get better, but the way I look at it every day is a gift, I'm playing with House money! I'm doing well now but there is no way to know how long it will last. I settled my personal affairs a long time ago and prefer not to dwell on the inevitable. I'm just grateful for what I've got.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me you've done very well all things considered, and I'm hopeful you have many more years to go!
Mark Cordone,
DeleteIt’s great to read that your heart problem was identified and deal with promptly.
At one point, when my prostate cancer had yet to be definitely confirmed, the urologist I had an appointment to see realised that - due to a blockage in the prostate - I was just hours away from kidney failure. I was immediately admitted to hospital and fitted with a catheter.
Like you, I see every days as a bonus and try to make the most of each hour I am awake.
May we both live long and interesting lives,
Bob
Best wishes, Bob!
ReplyDeleteI just turned 69. My father seems to be doing well at 89. My mother is less well, but still with us at 89, too. I guess we never know where the future will take us. It does seem like things can change unexpectedly in a short span of time. We can make our best plans and then roll the dice.
Fitz-Badger,
DeleteThanks for sharing your story … and I hope that you and your parents enjoy long and happy lives.
We cannot predict what will happen to us tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year … so the best way forward would seem to be as positive as one can be and living each day to the full.
In Freemasonry they have an expression that one should ‘live respected and die regretted’ … and it not a bad goal to aim for.
All the best,
Bob
That's a good expression. I agree with living each day to the full, whatever that means for each person. My dad still travels. My mom still learns. I still do both, as well as create and craft and read and paint minis and do all the things. :) As well as try to practice kindness, try to be patient and open-hearted and accepting, and curious. All things I learned from my mother.
DeleteFitz-Badger,
DeleteIt sounds as if your parents have set an example of how to live life to the full as one ages. I know far too many people who - when they retired - seemed to stop bothering to do anything challenging. Both one’s body and mind need exercising if you want to keep physically and mentally fit.
Even though I have mobility problems, I use a pedalling machine to exercise my leg muscles, and aim to do the equivalent of at least 5,000 ‘steps’ a day … and usually more. I also find modelling and painting help me to maintain some manual dexterity … and writing a blog certainly exercises my mind!
I try to behave positively to everyone I meet … and it’s amazing how much that is reciprocated. Smile at someone … and they smile back. If someone (a meet-and-greeter, security guard, or checkout worker, for example) at the supermarket says ‘Good morning’ to you, a smile and a reply - and possible a short chat -can make that person feel valued.
Little things can make all the difference.
All the best,
Bob
Hi Bob
ReplyDeleteGrowing old is such a pain.
I am a young 75, cancer survivor, heart attack survivor and I've just had a second mini-stroke. Still I paint toy soldiers for pleasure.
Recently I have been diagnosed with Parasomnia in general and RBD in particular. Both are an additional burden to carry.
Apparently sufferers of the above have at least a 72% chance of developing into the Parkinsons family of woes although symptoms may not appear for a dozen years or so.
Still I paint toy soldiers.
Jim
Jim Duncan (Jim),
DeleteGrowing old is a pain … in many ways!
I’ve had two cancers and I’m now suffering from a neurological disorder that does not seem to be getting worse … at the moment. Like you, I still try to paint soldiers, build models and scenery, and write wargame rules and books.
I have a friend who has been suffering from parasomnia for some years and is showing signs of it developing into Parkinson’s Disease. I hope that yours does not go down that route … and you keep painting toy soldiers!
All the best,
Bob
Hi Bob -
ReplyDeleteYour recent years have certainly been a tale of battles against the rigours of time, a war in which continued participation is a victory of sorts.
Judging by the comments I've been reading here, having reached the middle of my 75th year, I have been very lucky - the occasional niggling worry that the passage of time has generally sorted. All the same, one experiences these days a sense of mortality - and a concern about how one might dispose of my collection - hoard - of soldiery and kit. That one's progeny is domiciled in Oz rather puts the kibosh on their inheriting much - if any - of it!
But whilst I still have my health, I'll enjoy the stuff as much as I can....
Cheers,
Ion
Archduke Piccolo (Ion),
DeleteThe last few years have been a bit of a struggle … but as I was born with scoliosis and inward pointing club feet, I’ve been fighting with health issues all my life. (Over five years I underwent numerous medical procedures that turned my lower legs and feet so that I could walk normally.)
Like you, it is my intention to enjoy my wargaming and other interests for as long as I can.
May we both live long and interesting lives,
Bob
I guess it's only natural that such things increasingly occupy our minds as we get older. My Father is 94 and still 'going strong'. living in his own home and still able to get up and down the stairs! His Mother and Elder sister both lived into their mid 90's. I'll be 68 in January and have a (silly?) plan to have my photo taken standing outside of the house where I was born in 1958 (Foxberry Road, Brockley SE4). It was my Grandparents house back then. and thought it might make a good memory photo for future generations.
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Lee.
‘Lee (Lee)
DeleteIt sounds as if your genetic inheritance is strong and hopefully you’ll live a very long and happy life.
I think that your idea for a photograph of you outside the house where you were born is a great one. I planned to spend my 70th birthday in the hotel that now occupies the General Lying-in Hospital building where I was born, but decided not to when I found out that the former hospital building wasn’t used for accommodation.
All the best,
Bob
Just hit 66 this year, and as a milestone, it has hit me back. Having lost several close friends recently has compounded the already growing feeling that the time has come for a major shift in my approach my hobby collections and activities: trim the former and focus the latter. It's easier said than done, of course; there is truth to the saying that we become "prisoners of our possessions."
ReplyDeleteEd M,
DeleteI was once told that I’d know when I was getting old. It was when I started to go to more funerals than weddings and christenings. By this metric, I must be getting very old!
I am fast coming to the same conclusion as you; to have a smaller number of collections that I can concentrate on. Getting there won’t be easy … but I think that the end result will be worth the effort.
All the best,
Bob
I am comparatively young at 65 but still seem to feel my age more each passing week, and the aches and pains grow. I now have a clear goal though to finish the Dominion series of solo rules in the hope that they will provide amusement to many for many years to come. I have a long way to go though Bob to match your sales of Portable Wargames!
ReplyDeleteAll the very best
Steve