Saturday, 13 April 2013

The brick wall

One thing that I warned about by someone just after my father died was that, at some point during the days after his funeral, I would hit 'the brick wall'. The need to organise the funeral and everything else associated with my father's death meant that for some time I have been running on adrenaline. I have slept badly, woken up with a headache which has stayed with me all day, had almost constant indigestion, and felt lethargic and unable to concentrate ... but I have let none of that stop me from doing what had to be done.

Today I hit the brick wall. I still have the symptoms, but the adrenaline seems to have stopped flowing ... and I can barely summon up the energy to walk and talk. All I want to do is sleep. What little concentration I have has almost completely gone (I have been trying to write this blog entry for over fifteen minutes already!) and I seem to have developed levels of clumsiness I had not realised I was capable of achieving.

I have spent the day poodling around doing the absolute minimum, and the day seems to have drifted by in a haze. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help, but if it doesn't I am faced with the prospect of a longish haul back to normality.

18 comments:

  1. Hi Bob,

    It is the come down from the adrenalin and complete rest is the only way for you to get back to normality. Luckily this should be a fairly speedy process but the important thing is not to do anything unless you want to rather than because you feel you have to. Trying anything when you feel like this is a recipe for disaster and that in itself will make you feel worse.

    Take it easy and just languish awhile - sleep or a DVD you have seen before that you can just bung on and absorb without any conscious effort.

    I hope you feel better and more with it soon but don't rush yourself.

    All the best,

    DC

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  2. David Crook,

    I fully intend to take take your advice. I plan to take things easy for as long as necessary, and I am certainly not going to try doing anything remotely 'challenging'.

    I hope to do a lot of reading and possibly some writing, but I am going to avoid modelling and painting as I know that I am currently feeling far to clumsy to do either properly.

    All the best,

    Bob

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  3. Bob,

    I think your body is just telling you to rest

    As the Victorians said "take some air" and let the world flow by for a day or two

    Best Wishes
    Mark

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  4. Geordie an Exiled FoG,

    I think that you are right. Luckily I don't have to go to work any more, so resting properly is a viable option and should lead to a fairly rapid recovery ... I hope!

    All the best,

    Bob

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  5. Bob
    David is so right.
    I am glad you are following his council.
    take care
    Alan

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  6. Tradgardmastare (Alan),

    Thanks ... it is very sound advice, and I am going to act on it.

    My wife is also in agreement, and tells me that I am going to have a break ... and that she has a plan in place to make sure that I do.

    All the best,

    Bob

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  7. Yes Bob, just let things wash over you until you feel ready to pick up the trail.

    I remember feeling as such when my mother, father and sister all died within a few short years of each other.

    You will pick up the pieces when you are ready and life, as it always will, will continue as before.

    Jim

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  8. Hi Bob,

    Glad to hear that you're going to "take it easy" for a while. Pace yourself....you'll know when to jump back in.

    God Bless,

    Martin

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  9. Hi Bob,
    Much empathy & condolences on your sad loss. I think your brain is forcing you to slow down and rest. And it sounds like you need, deserve, to rest after so much work and trauma. Grief and grieving are strange things and affect us all in different ways. Having lost my own father 13 years ago & my best friend on 20th March this year I can empathise with your own situation. I know exactly what you mean by hitting the wall.

    All the best
    James

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  10. Jim Duncan,

    I know that I have to take things easy for a while ... but it runs against the grain not to try to 'tough' things out.

    I also know that 'that way lies madness' (quite literally in some cases) so I am going to take the advice and have a bit of a rest ... in my own way.

    All the best,

    Bob

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  11. Martin,

    I am certainly going to do as I have been advised, and hopefully I will be back to normal very soon.

    All the best (and thanks for your support),

    Bob

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  12. The Dancing Cake Tin (James),

    I have been following your posts about the recent bereavement of your friend, and I know that you are going through the same sort of roller-coaster that I am.

    The inner conflict between what can feel like 'giving in' and 'keeping calm and carrying on' can make things feel bad ... and the general lethargy and sleep deprivation make it feel even worse.

    I am going to take the advice I have been given and 'give in' ... but on my own terms. I will continue to blog, but I suspect that the entries might be a bit mundane until I am back firing on all six cylinders.

    All the best,

    Bob

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  13. Take it easy Bob you have been through a lot

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  14. Hi Bob

    Great advice from everyone. Take it easy, time is a great healer.

    And your wife is a wonderful blessing to you, too.

    Regards
    Arthur

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  15. Johntheone,

    As you might have guessed by now, I have done exactly what everyone – including you – has advised … and have had a complete break.

    Thanks for your support and advice,

    All the best,

    Bob

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  16. Arthur,

    When so many people – including you – give such excellent advice, it should be taken … and it has!

    Thanks for kind words … especially about my wife.

    All the best,

    Bob

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  17. Kaptain Kobold,

    I will ... in the very near future.

    All the best,

    Bob

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