A death in the family

My father-in-law died this morning.

My wife and I saw him last Friday when we took him to have another look at the flat we were in the process of buying for him. He had had a change of mind about the move earlier in the week, but when he saw the flat again he loved it, and was looking forward to moving in as soon as possible. When we returned home we left him in a very happy frame of mind, and he was already thinking about what he wanted to take with him from his existing home when he moved.

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I had decided that we needed a break to recharge our batteries, and we were lucky enough to be able book two nights in one of our favourite hotels – the ‘Le Strange Arms Hotel’, Old Hunstanton, Norfolk – starting on Sunday. We had a pleasant drive up from London, stopped off in King’s Lynn for a light lunch, and arrived at the hotel in time for afternoon tea. By chance we were able to meet some old friends who were at the hotel for Sunday lunch, and we had a long and pleasant chat with them before we had to get ready for dinner.

On Monday morning we went to Holkham Hall … and I will write a special blog entry about our visit sometime in the near future. We then went on the Fakenham to visit a famous chocolate factory shop, and after that we drove to King’s Lynn and thence to Old Hunstanton. We had only just returned to the hotel when we received a telephone call from a friend of my father-in-law telling us that my father-in-law had fallen over and had been taken to hospital. We contacted the hospital immediately, and we were informed that my father-in-law had been found lying on the floor of his bedroom, and that he was dehydrated and may have injured his spine. We were told that he was as comfortable as could be expected and that we could visit him next day.

(We later discovered that he had been lying on the bedroom floor for at least 36 hours … and probably for as long as 48 hours.)

We immediately packed out bags and checked out of the hotel. The drive home was very unpleasant because high winds and torrential rain, and it took us nearly three hours top drive the one hundred or so miles. We telephone the hospital again when we reached home, and were told that my father-in-law was resting and that they were attempting to rehydrate him.

On Tuesday morning we went to see my father-in-law. We drove to the hospital in Canterbury, Kent via his home in Herne Bay, collecting some items that we thought he might need during his stay in hospital. He was asleep when we arrived, and appeared to be responding to the treatment he was being given. We waited until he had been seen by the doctors who were overseeing his case, and they made us aware of the problems that they were facing. It appeared that during the time he spent lying on the floor unable to move, he had accumulated fluid in his lungs. The process of rehydrating him was causing a further build-up of fluid, and that this was placing an increased burden on his heart and lungs. However, if he was not rehydrated, his kidneys and heart might fail. The treatment was a delicate balance between the two, and his survival would depend upon getting that balance right. They also told us that he would be asleep for the rest of the night, and that we should go home.

We drove back to London, and had just sat down when the hospital telephoned to inform us that my father-in-law’s condition had worsened. We immediately packed an overnight bag and drove back to Canterbury. We stayed at his bedside until past 1.00am this morning, waiting to see if there was any improvement. There was not … but his condition did not appear to be getting any worse either. We were by now both so tired that we could hardly stay awake, and so we set off to try to find a hotel that had beds available. We finally found one in Whitstable, and by 2.00am we were asleep.

We were awoken at 6.30am by a telephone call from the hospital. My father-in-law’s condition had suddenly deteriorated and they advised us to get there as quickly as possible. We did so, but unfortunately he had died almost as soon as they had telephoned us.

We have spent the rest of the day trying to sort out what to do next. Because of the circumstances of my father-in-law’s death, the Coroner has decided that there will have to be an inquest. Until that has met and a decision as to the cause of death has been determined, the funeral cannot take place. My wife and I have a lot to do over the coming few weeks, and I suspect that all my wargaming is going to have to be placed on hold until after the funeral.

I know that many of my regular blog readers will send my wife and I messages of sympathy. Please do not be offended if I do not reply to each of them personally, but I would like to thank you in advance for your kind thoughts and support.