Over the last few days, I have been feeling all of my seventy-five years (e.g. aching muscles after undertaking minimal physical effort, dozing off in my arm chair without warning, spending more time finding reasons not to do something than it would take to do it) ... and when I mentioned this to my wife, she replied, 'That's not really surprising, you are old!' (We have been married for forty-three years, so she knows me far too well for my own good!)
This exchange put me in mind of Lewis Carroll's poem, YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM.
"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—
one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple."
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!"
The poem was included in Lewis Carroll's book ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, which was published in 1865. In it, the Caterpillar asks Alice to recite the poem, which she does. The book was illustrated by John Tenniel, and I have used copies of his drawings in this blog post.