Wargaming and the 'cult of prettiness': Some thoughts and questions

The comment made by John Treadaway as an aside to the review of the Fourth Portable Wargame Compendium that was published in the August issue of MINIATURE WARGAMES really got under my skin ... and what follows are some thoughts about what I think of as the cult of prettiness' in wargaming.

First, some personal history …

I bought my first metal wargame figures (20mm Crimean War infantry and cavalry) from Hinton Hunt in 1968. I painted them with the only model paints that were available to me back then ... Humbrol gloss enamel paint! To be honest, they were pretty awful ... but I still have them although they now live in storage.

My next figures were Miniature Figurine Prussian Napoleonic infantry, and these were painted with Humbrol matt enamel paint ... and were far more presentable (I had developed some skill with a paintbrush by then!). In fact, I am still using them although they have now been given a coat of gloss varnish to protect them from damage.

All these figures had bases that were painted green and the Hinton Hunt figures were glued to balsa wood unit bases. My rules were based on those written by Donald Featherstone (WAR GAMES) and Brigadier Peter Young and Colonel James Lawford (CHARGE!) although over time I did buy other rule books … which were almost universally produced in small batches and sold with simple card covers. If they had illustrations, these card-covered rule books had line drawings – possibly including one on the cover – and diagrams.

The first wargame magazine I bought was MINIATURE WARFARE … and after the first few issues, that had some colour printed on the cover but only ever included monochrome photographs.

The cover of the third issue of MINIATURE WARFARE (April 1968).

It was not until the late Duncan MacFarlane edited and published the first issue of MINIATURE WARGAMES in 1983 that colour photographs became the norm in wargame magazines … and from that day onward, I feel that the invidious 'cult of prettiness' began to creep into the hobby.

The cover of the first issue of MINIATURE WARGAMES (March 1983).

Some people in the hobby seemed very keen to get photographs of their figures and terrain – often on display at shows around the country – published in magazines … and I in no way condemn this as I enjoy seeing other people’s wargame stuff in use. However, over time this appeared to have a deleterious effect on some of the wargames one saw at shows, with more and more seemingly becoming dioramas on which figures occasionally moved. Alongside them were other games that were played on simpler terrain and simple rules, and these often attracted participants rather than spectators.

I well remember attending a major wargame show in London twenty years ago (It was SALUTE!) and overhearing members of the ‘best in show’ judging team say – as they passed the participation game I was running – that my game was all right for a club night, but really wasn’t what they wanted to see at such a prestigious wargame show. The game attracted over thirty players during the course of the day; the ‘best in show’ had no participants as it was classed as a demonstration wargame (i.e. members of the club staging the game were the only people allowed to take part)

I therefore pose the following question … which of these two games generated more fun and enjoyment? I leave the answer up to you, the reader of this blog post.

Now, regular blog readers will know that I follow the BUDGET MODEL RAILWAYS channel on YouTube. Its creator is an ex-wargamer who now builds model railways as cheaply as he can, and several times he has said something about railway modelling that is equally applicable to our hobby. He has identified a trend among some railway modellers to collect locomotives, rolling stock, buildings etc., for a grand project that they plan to undertake when they retire … and that they never manage to achieve. He advocates building and using small layouts – some of which are capable of expansion at a later date – rather than waiting until you’ve got time to build your grand project.

Isn’t there a similar phenomenon in wargaming? How many wargamers plan for years to fight some massive battles using beautifully painted figures on sculpted terrain in their dedicated wargame room … and never actually manage it? It’s a wonderful dream … but that dream can easily become a nightmare that absorbs large amounts of time and money. Wouldn’t it be better for them to spend that time and money fighting smaller wargames and having fun?

There are some wargamers who do achieve their ambition to build up large collections of beautifully painted figures that they can use on wonderful terrain in their wargame room … but I wonder if the 'cult of prettiness' has rather given the impression to many wargamers that this is THE ideal they should be aiming for? If so, is that actually putting some of them off the hobby?

Again, I leave the answers up to you, dear blog reader.

When I look at the list of wargame blogs that I follow, I am struck by several thoughts. Firstly, that the hobby is a wide church and has room for a wide spectrum of wargamers, ranging from people who wargame with superb figures on magnificent terrain to those who use homemade cardboard counters or wooden blocks on a hand-drawn terrain map. Secondly, that a fun but scruffy-looking wargame that uses simple rules will always be preferable to a pretty-looking wargame that is tedious and/or boring to take part in. Thirdly, that some wargamers need to be a bit more realistic in their aspirations and fight wargames that they have the time and finances to achieve and not to aim for the unattainable.

Interestingly, there is one sector of the hobby where I've seen players having lots of fun using small numbers of well-painted figures on excellent terrain ... and in this instance, I'm not referring to those wargamers who are using THE PORTABLE WARGAME, ONE-HOUR WARGAME, or DOMINION OF ... , DE BELLIS ANTIQUITATIS, or  HORDES OF THE THINGS rules!

The wargamers I am thinking about are those who are fighting skirmish-level battles and Fantasy/Science Fiction/Role-Play games. Until recently, I never seriously looked at these sorts of games, but joining a local games club made me reassess my attitude to them ... and I realised that I had – through my ignorance and some degree of historical wargaming snobbery – been misjudging this style of games.

So, has the 'cult of prettiness' gone some way toward creating an ideal within the hobby that is actually counter-productive to its long-term viability ... and is there a significant movement within the hobby that is moderating or ignoring its influence?

Finally, I leave the answer to that question up to my regular blog readers.

My toy/wargame room is almost back to normal

Back in June my toy/wargame room I wrote a blog post about my toy/wargame room being taken over to store clothes etc., during the renovation of our main bedroom. That project is now complete, and as the hot weather has cooled somewhat, we have been able to clear the room of everything that was stored in there and I am able to use it again.

Hooray!

Here are some before ...

... and after photographs.

Why We (Cannot) Fight*

As I have recently mentioned on my blog, Sue and I are having our main bedroom completely renovated. It is being decorated, having a new carpet fitted, and we have bought a complete new set of bedroom furniture. To do this, we have moved the existing furniture into our guest bedroom ... and the contents of that bedroom has been either given away to charities or stored.

The top floor of our house is the location of our former home office and my toy/wargame room ... and they have been 'requisitioned' for use as storage until the bedroom renovation is complete. As a result, they now look like this:

Above and below: My toy/wargame room being used for storage.

Our former home office being used for storage.

As will be painfully obvious, my toy/wargame room is unusable at present and likely to remain so for some time to come. I do have plans to try to overcome this problem ... but I have not idea if they will come to fruition.

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* For those of my regular blog readers that are unaware, WHY WE FIGHT was a series of seven propaganda films produced by the US Department of War from 1942 to 1945. They were originally made to be shown to members of the United States armed forces to explain why the country was involved in the Second World War. but they were later shown to civilian audiences as well.

Air-conditioning, Bank Holidays, half-term, decorating, and wargaming

One of the things that some Americans complain about when they visit the UK is the lack of air-conditioning. Now, for most of the year the UK never seems to get hot enough to warrant the wholesale use of air-conditioning (the average summer temperature reaches a maximum of 19°C/14°F in July) but every so often it does get hot, especially when the temperature exceeds the average by some margin.

For example, what has been described as a 'heat wave' hit our part of the UK last Friday, and by midday on Monday it was 30°C/85°F, By 2.00pm it was 33°C/91°F ... and the best thing that we could have done was to keep the curtains and blinds closed, switch on our tower fans, and do as little as possible. What made this more unusual that normal was the fact that last weekend was a Bank Holiday and this week is a school halft-term holiday ... both of which can usually be a guarantee of poor weather!

This would have normally resulted in most people – including Sue and I – just slowing down and trying to keep cool ... but we had already decided to redecorate our main bedroom and replace the furniture. Now, to do this, first we have to empty our spare bedroom (i.e. pack up all the clothes and pass the furniture onto Emmaus a charity that supports the homeless) so that we can then move everything from our main bedroom into it. In other words, the whole operation is a sort of 'Towers of Hanoi' puzzle.

Except for the furniture, everything that was in the spare bedroom has been crated up and moved upstairs to our former home office, with the inevitable overspill being stored in my toy/wargame room. The latter has therefore impacted on my ability to do any wargaming up there. Mind you, it's so hot in the room at present that I doubt that I could have done much in that room anyway! (The room is in our loft conversion and has both a black roof and enough insulation to keep it warm in cold weather ... which makes it very hot during the current 'heat wave'.)

The plan is to get everything back to normal by the middle of July, so until then, I'll probably be writing about the hobby rather than doing much actual wargaming ... unless – of course – I can come up with a cunning plan to bring my tabletop battles downstairs ...

Hannay

Until I reached my teen years, I really wasn't one for reading fiction. Then, thanks to a Canadian-born English teacher, I 'discovered' C S Forester, and I began to appreciate a good story in book format!

(By the way, the book that he made us read was THE SHIP, which was Forester's fictionalised account of the Battle of Sirte, and which featured as its main characters the crew of the cruiser HMS Artemis.)

I happened to mention my enjoyment of Forester's books to a librarian ... and they suggested that I ought to try several other authors, including Rudyard Kipling and John Buchan. I followed this advice ... and I was soon hooked! In particular, I enjoyed the latter author's stories that featured Richard Hannay, later Major-General Sir Richard Hannay KCB DSO OBE and his cronies:

• Mary Lamington, later Lady Mary Hannay
• Ludovic 'Sandy' Gustavus Arbuthnot, later 16th Lord Clanroyden
• Barbara, Lady Clanroyden
• Sir Archie Roylance
• Janet, Lady Roylance
• John Scantlebury Blenkiron
• Peter Pienaar

I began with THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS, which I had seen on film in two versions:

• Alfred Hitchcocks 1935 version, which starred Robert Donat.
• Ralph Thomas' 1959 version, which starred Kenneth More.

However, the film version of the story that - in my opinion - keeps closest to the original story, is the 1978 version, which starred Robert Powell.

Robert Powell as Richard Hannay.

Not only that, but it proved so popular that it resulted in a spin-off television series that was simply named Hannay.

By coincidence, the latter is currently being televised by the Talking Pictures TV Freeview channel, and I have been watching them. There are two series and the episodes are as follows:

• Series 1
• The Fellowship of the Black Stone
• A Point of Honour 
• Voyage into Fear
• Death With Due Notice
• Act of Riot
• The Hazard of the Die
• Series 2
• Coup de Grace
• The Terrors of the Earth
• Double Jeopardy
• The Good Samaritan
• That Rough Music
• The Confidence Man
• Say The Bells of Shoreditch

The stories are not based on anything written by John Buchan, but they are very much in their mould, and are set in the period immediately before the outbreak of the Great War. (i.e. the Belle Époque). There is one recurring villain in both series, Count Von Schwabing, who is played with great gusto by Gavin Richards ... who is probably better known for the role of Captain Alberto Bertorelli in the Second World War comedy, 'ALLO, 'ALLO.

Going off at a tangent

Until Saturday morning, my wargaming life was bimbling* along quite nicely. I was working – albeit at a leisurely pace – on several projects. These included:

• The working draft of my Portable Belle Époque Wargame project.
• Assembling the figures for a couple more armies for my Belle Époque project.
• Writing an article about the development of warships between 1800 and 1920.
• My ongoing American Civil War campaign.
• My weekly role-playing sessions.

So, what happened on Saturday morning?

I opened a cupboard in my toy/wargame room ... and found something that I thought was in storage.

It was the printed copies of first ten years of my blog posts.

Now, many of my regular blog readers might not be aware that way back in 2018 I decided to have the text of my blog posts printed and bound in hardback format. I did this because I was afraid that if Blogger was ever to close down, I would not have a copy of what I had written. I have not had the last eight years of blog posts printed or bound ... but its something that I really need to think about ... just in case.

So, how did this discovery cause me to go off at a tangent?

I made the mistake of opening the first volume of my printed blog posts ... and immediately began to read it. Back then, my blog posts were about the then recently published reprint of Donald Featherstone's WAR GAMES by the History of Wargaming Project and its impact on my RED FLAGS AND IRON CROSSES (TARRED AND FEATHERSTONED) rules. In fact, between 20th September 2008 and 21st October 2008 I wrote eight blog posts about the rules and my play-tests as well as four about the Colonial version, which was entitled REDCOATS AND NATIVES (TARRED AND FEATHERSTONED).

Looking at the rules now (and the former are available online and in the History of Wargaming Project's reprint of Donald Featherstone's WARGAMING AIRBORNE OPERATIONS), I am struck by how much fun they were to wargame with. I was also struck by the fact that they could do with a bit of updating and improving because since I wrote them, I've had a lot more experience in writing wargame rules and developing slicker – and hopefully better – game mechanisms.

So, I now have another project to add to my growing list ... and I can see myself having a bit of fun tinkering with these rules and even pushing a few figures and tanks around on a tabletop!

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Here are some images from the play-tests of my RED FLAGS AND IRON CROSSES (TARRED AND FEATHERSTONED) ...

... and REDCOATS AND NATIVES (TARRED AND FEATHERSTONED) rules.

I hope that they convey how much fun I had ... and how few figures etc., I needed to enjoy myself! Sometimes, less is more!

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* For those of you who have never come across this verb before, it is defined as being 'to walk or travel at a leisurely pace.'

Investigating my recent blog hits

I recently mentioned that there didn't seem to be much let up in the number of hits my blog was receiving ... so I did an investigation.

Over the past three months, my blog appears to have been 'visited' by people from the following countries:

This makes for interesting reading. For example, I don't believe that 183,000 Vietnamese, 164,000 Brazilians, and 138,000 Singaporeans have – over the past three months – been motivated by my random thoughts and deathless prose to be bothered to read my blog. So, I must assume that most of the hits from these countries – along with those from India, Hong Kong, Bangladesh, and Iraq – are the result of AI bot activity.

Is this what one of my regular blog post readers looks like? Judging by the above data, the answer is 'Yes'!

I suppose that the above isn't much of a surprise ... but it did set me wondering how much money I might have earned if I had chosen to monetise this blog, something that I have always resisted doing ... and will continue to resist.

The Royal Mail can sometimes get things very wrong!

I recently ordered some painted figures from an eBay seller, and they sent them to me once I had returned from our recent cruise. The seller made sure that everything was securely packed in bubble wrap and cardboard and placed into two substantial cardboard boxes that were taped together with loads of white parcel tape marked with the word ‘Fragile’ in red letters. They then passed it over into the care of the Royal Mail.

That is where things seem to have gone wrong.

I have no idea what they did to the parcel before they delivered it, but it looked as if the word ‘Fragile’ was not just ignored but acted as a trigger for them to treat the parcel with little care. When it was delivered, the corners of the parcel looked crushed and there was an ominous rattle when one picked it up. When it was opened, most of the packaging had burst open, and I would estimate that between 30% and 40% of the figures - which had been based in threes on plastic bases - were loose and quite a few were damaged.

This should not have happened … but it did. The seller did everything to ensure that the parcel and its contents were properly packaged, but the Royal Mail seems to have failed to do its duty to deliver the parcel in the condition in which it was given to them.

Is there any possible redress? Well, I could ask the seller to pursue the matter as the Royal Mail insists that it is only the person who posts an item who can initiate a trace … but that seems to me to be rather an imposition on a seller who sold me these figures at a very reasonable price. Furthermore, the compensation would be negligible.

I’ve decided to see if I can make the best of the situation and repair those figures that are repairable. Hopefully there will then be enough of them to form the basis on a further Belle Époque army.

Analysis paralysis

Have you ever been in a situation where you know that you have to make decisions, but there seem to be just too many options available to choose from and you end up putting off making those decisions.

This is the situation I am currently in with regard to my ongoing Belle Époque project. Whilst I was on our recent cruise, I tried drawing a basic campaign map that showed the relative locations on the imagi-nations ... but somehow, the end result was not very satisfactory. Likewise, I tried working on a draft of my Portable Belle Époque Wargame rules ... but I just didn't feel that the end result felt right.

Things have not changed since I got back, and I seem to be in the doldrums*.

I then happened to watch a YouTube video by a Canadian railway modeller in which he described exactly how I was feeling ... and he defined it as 'analysis paralysis'. This is:

'a state where overthinking or over-analysing a situation prevents a person from making a timely decision.'

This is EXACTLY the situation I find myself in. I need to stop dilly-dallying (i.e. Constantly answering myself questions such as 'Should I draw my campaign map before I write my rules?'; 'Should I use a hexed or squared grid?'; 'Should I add a couple more armies or should I crack on and fight some battles?') and make a decision. As the YouTuber pointed out in his video, it might end up not being the right decision, but a decision is better than no decision and will at least take your project forward.

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* The Cambridge Dictionary defines 'the doldrums' as:

• Unsuccessful or showing no activity or development and
• A period of being sad or bored and with no energy or enthusiasm.

I have been to ... Spain, Canary Islands, and Portugal

Sue and I began cruising many years ago, and other than when the world was hit by the COVID-19 pandemic and when my medical condition prevented it, we have – on average – been on a cruise three or four times each year. As a result, we have clocked up a lot of cruises, and this one was our eighty-first!

Here’s hoping that we will eventually hit a century whilst we are still fit and well enough to enjoy the experience!

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Saturday 14th March: Southampton

We awoke at 6.30am, and after getting washed, dressed, and eating breakfast, we finished packing our hand luggage before we loaded the car, and by 8.30am we were on our way to Southampton.

We reached the Dartford interchange of the A2 and M25 within twenty-five minutes and made good progress around the southern section of the motorway until we were approaching Junction 8 … and then we hit a traffic jam! Apparently, there had been a multi-vehicle collision between Junctions 8 and 7, and the whole clockwise motorway had come to a standstill.

We did not move for over twenty minutes, and then our satnav informed us that the motorway would be cleared between 10.30am and 10.45am. This meant that we would not reach the M3 until after 11.00am … which was thirty minutes before we were supposed to be boarding the ship, P&O’s MV Iona.

As we were not prepared to sit and wait until the road ahead was open, Sue and I decided to find an alternative route to Southampton. We went down the M23 towards Brighton and then drove across country via Haywards Heath, the Chichester bypass, and the M27.

We finally reached the Ocean Cruise Terminal in Southampton at 12.30pm, and after queuing for the valet parking area and handing our car over to them, a porter helped us to get our luggage to the correct baggage handling gate.

Because we were suite passengers and I had booked assisted boarding due to my mobility problems we were able to bypass the queue outside the terminal and go up to the main floor by lift. We were then directed to the assistance desk where I was booked in and allocated a wheelchair and pusher.

Within ten minutes, we had been through the check in process and ten minutes later we had passed through the security checks, and I was taken aboard Iona. Once aboard, our boarding passes were scanned, and then we visited our muster station – the Headliners Theatre (Deck 6 Forward) – to be registered. We then made our way to the Pearl Restaurant (Deck 6 Aft) for a buffet lunch.

At 1.45pm, a public announcement told us that all cabins and suites were now available for occupation. Sue and I then made our way up to our suite on Deck 11 Forward. This took much longer than we expected because three of the eight lifts at the forward part of the ship were not available for passenger use as they were being used to move luggage.

Sue and I then spent the next couple of hours unpacking, meeting our cabin steward (Nagash) and our butler (Sayed), looking out across Southampton … and the Ocean Cruise Terminal and the docks in particular! …

… and getting used to the layout of the suite.

Iona set sail not long before 5.00pm, …

… and rather than go up to the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant (Deck 16 Aft), Sue and I decided to stay in our suite and have a cup of tea and a much-needed rest before getting ready for dinner.

Sue and I set out at about 7.45pm to find somewhere to have a pre-dinner drink and were able to find two seats in the Crow’s Nest Bar (Deck 17 Forward).

This was ideal as we had booked dinner in the Epicurean Restaurant which was also on Deck 17 Forward. We arrived at the restaurant at 8.30pm and once we were seated, we had the opportunity to look at the recently revamped menu. In the end we chose the following:

Milk Bread, Ciabatta Bread, and Wholemeal Bread with unsalted and herb butter

Starters

Cold-Smoked Hampshire Chalk Stream Trout Diced with Shallots, Dill and Radish, Oscietra Caviar, Herb Cream, and Rye Bread Croûtes (Sue)

Oak-Smoked Gressingham Duck Breast with Marinated Mushrooms, Celeriac Purée, Pickled Blackberries, Rhubarb Membrillo, and Port Jus (Me)

Main Course

Fillet of Pan-Roasted Atlantic Halibut with Deep-Fried Tempura Rock Oyster, Citrus Mayonnaise, Wilted Baby Leaf Spinach, Crushed New Potatoes, Salty Fingers, and Sauce Véronique (Sue)

Pan-Seared Australian Wagyu Beef Sirloin with Crispy Potato Pavé, King Oyster Mushroom, Slow-Cooked Onion filled with Braised Wagyu Beef and Horseradish, Asparagus Spear, Caramelised Onion Purée, and Sauce Bordelaise (Me)

Desserts

Flambéed Crêpes Suzette with Vanilla Pod Ice Cream (Sue)

Calvados Apple Compote, Granny Smith, Apple Granita, Honeycomb, Cinnamon Crumble, and Chantilly Cream (Me)

The meal – and the service – was magnificent, and the quality of the food was even better than we had hoped and expected. We both left feeling that we had eaten extremely well … and are already planning to return to the restaurant again later in the cruise.

After such a long and exhausting day, we decided to go straight back to our suite after dinner, and once we had sat for a while reading and resting, we went to bed and slept exceedingly well.

Sunday 18th March: At sea

Overnight the ship’s clocks had been advanced by one hour, but as it was a sea day, we did not need to wake up too early. In fact, we both awoke at 8.00am, and by just after 9.15am we had washed and dressed, and we seated in the Epicurean Restaurant ordering breakfast as made Iona made her way across the Bay of Biscay.

After breakfast we set off for a walk around the ship, starting on Deck 7 as we wanted to drop off the invitation we had received for the Peninsular Club Lunch on the following Tuesday. It felt as if everyone else of the ship was also out exploring her, and all the walkways and public areas were very crowded. Sue and I managed to have a look in some of the shops, but there was very little that appealed to us to buy.

We had returned to our suite by 11.30am, and whilst Sue read, I watched a very interesting documentary entitled THE CONQUEROR: HOLLYWOOD FALLOUT. It was about the epic 1950s film about Genghis Khan that was produced by Howard Hughes, directed by Dick Powell, and that starred John Wayne in the title role (Yes, that is pretty unbelievable, isn’t it?) and Rita Hayworth.

The film was made near the small town of St. George in southern Utah, which is less than 150 miles from the United States nuclear test area in Nevada. What no one realised at the time was that the town was downwind of the nuclear tests and the whole area was covered in fallout. The documentary traced the impact of this on the actors and film crews as well as the local inhabitants … and the fact that so many of them developed deadly cancers in the years after the film was made.

The government organisation responsible for the tests – the Atomic Energy Commission – knew about the dangers of fallout but publicly denied the link, and it was not until it was abolished that the truth came out. By then, many people who had been in the area had died or suffered from a variety of cancers that were caused by exposure to radiation, and it is only relatively recently that the survivors and the bereaved families have receive any form of compensation … and that was limited to $50,000.

After watching this somewhat sobering film, Sue and I went down to Deck 8 to have lunch in The Quays.

This is a trio of fast-food ‘outlets’ that offer fish and chips, Asian fusion food, or American grilled food. It was surprisingly crowded considering that it was 2.30pm by the time we got there, but we eventually found somewhere to sit and enjoy our small plates of fish and chips.

Once our late lunch was over, Sue and I went up to the open deck area on Deck 18 Forward. Despite that fact that it was windy, cold, and wet, the breath of fresh air did us both the world of good, and by the time we had returned to our suite by 4.00pm, neither of us was feeling drowsy or tired … and this set us up for a session writing our respective log (Sue) or blog (Me).

We had a short break when our butler – Sayed – paid us a visit to check that everything was all right. He suggested that if we had not booked a place in any of the speciality dining venues and were not keen on the menu that was available in the main restaurants, that we could consider dining in either the Glass House Bar or the Keel and Cow Bar, both of which are located in the ship’s atrium area on Decks 7 and 8 respectively.

In the end, we opted to go to the Pearl Restaurant after having a pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest Bar.

Once we had eaten, we went up to the open deck area on Deck 18 for some fresh air before returning to our suite to go to sleep.

Monday 16th March: La Coruña, Spain

Sue and I were awake in time to see Iona moor alongside in La Coruña

The location of the cruise ship dock is close to the older part of the city, and we were able to look across at the wonderful glassed-in balconies of the buildings that give the city its nickname the ‘Crystal City’.

As the sun was shining, Sue and I decided that we had to disembark and go for a walk through the older part of the city, and after breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, we got ready to go ashore.

Because the lifts serving our section of the ship are experiencing problems (three of the eight are not working), we were held up both getting back to our cabin and then down to Deck 4 to get off, and in the end we did not actually get ashore until after 11.00am.

As we have visited La Coruña several time before, we knew that once we had left the dock, we would be entering a mainly pedestrianised area. Just back from the seafront is the Calle Real, and we took a long stroll along it towards the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall).

The street is quite narrow and bordered by all sorts of tall, balconied buildings …

… and lead into a large square (Plaza Maria Pita) where the wonderfully ornate Ayuntamiento is located.

In the centre of the square is a monument dedicated to Maria Pita, who led the resistance to the British force – led by Sir Francis Drake – who attacked La Coruña in 1589, the year after the defeat of the Spanish Armada.

The British were defeated and set sail for Lisbon in the hope that it would be an easier target … which it wasn’t!

By this time we were both feeling rather weary and turned back toward the ship.

This gave me a further opportunity to photograph some of the seafront buildings, …

… including one that looked very much as if it had been built during the Belle Époque.

Once we were back aboard Iona, Sue and I decided to have a drink and a rest before venturing up to the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant for a late lunch.

This gave me the chance to go out onto our suite balcony to photograph the wall of the small park where Sir John Moore’s grave is located …

… as well as a new addition to the seafront park area …

… an ornate fountain.

We eventually went up to the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant at 3.30pm …

… fully expecting it to be relatively empty … but it wasn’t! Not only that, but the range of food available was – to put it bluntly – not very appetising and we had problems finding something to eat that wasn’t spicy or dried out. In the end I ate a rather tasteless chicken burger and Sue ate some fish goujons.

We did manage to get out onto the open deck after lunch, but finding a seat was not easy as the sun was out and every sun lounger and chair seemed to be occupied by a gently basting cruise passenger!

Sue and I finally returned to our suite at about 4.30pm and spent the rest of the time until the ship set sail reading and resting. Iona set sail at about 5.45pm, and some fifteen minutes later we were sailing past the only Roman-build lighthouse that still functions as such, the Tower of Hercules.

Soon after we had passed the lighthouse, our butler paid us his daily visit to check if we needed anything. Sue and I had a short chat with him, and once he had departed, we began to get ready for the evening.

Sue and I had booked places at the Olive Grove Restaurant (Deck 8 Aft) for 8.45pm, so we went up to the Crow’s Nest Bar for a pre-dinner drink.

The Olive Grove Restaurant specialises in Mediterranean food and is a very popular dining venue, which is why we had to book almost as soon as we were aboard to get a table. The restaurant has been decorated in a style that is reminiscent of an Italian trattoria …

… and the food ranges from dishes from Morocco to Turkey via Italy. Sue and I ate (respectively) a standard Caesar Salad and a Chicken Caesar Salad, both with ciabatta bread rolls, …

… a Margherita Pizza and Spaghetti Carbonara, …

… and Catalan Flan and deconstructed Tiramisu.

The food was excellent, as was the service, and we both left feeling that it made up for our appalling lunch in the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant.

We then went back to our suite via the open deck area on Deck 18 and were in bed and reading by 11.30pm.

Tuesday 17th March: At sea

Sea days are usually relatively quiet and give passengers a chance to rest and recharge their batteries for the forthcoming visit to the Canary Islands … but this was not the case on this particular Tuesday!

Iona was well on her way towards Tenerife when Sue and I woke up …

… and by the time we had eaten breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant and gone up to Deck 18, the sun was shining and every available sea and sunbed that we could see was occupied.

Sue and I then went for a stroll around the ship and ended up in the ship’s Atrium (Decks 6 to 8 Midships), where each of the main Departments (Deck, Engineering, and Hotel Services) had a stand that explained what they did. It was very crowded and Sue and I decided that rather than fight our way around the Atrium, we would return to our suite.

At 11.40am we were ready for the first big event of the day, the Peninsular Club Lunch for the members of the highest two tiers in P&O’s loyalty scheme. We left in plenty of time to get down from Deck 11 to Deck 7 and then along to the stern of the ship where the Coral restaurant is located. This was probably a very sensible thing to do as four of the eight forward lifts were not working and it took over ten minutes before one going down with any space in it arrived. As it was, we just made it to the restaurant at just after midday when the meal was supposed to begin.

Sue and I shared a table with two other couples. One of the couples was very chatty but the others quite elderly and spoke very little. The menu was exactly the same as it was on our previous cruise and included:

Starters

Crispy Haddock and Leek Fishcakes served with Pickled Cucumber Salsa, Mature Cheddar Cream, and a Wholegrain Mustard Vinaigrette (Sue)

Oak-smoked Duck Breast served with Toasted Hazelnuts with a Chicory and Orange Salad, Dried Cranberries, and a Toasted Hazelnut Crumb (Me)

Sorbet

Lemon Sorbet (Both of us)

Main Course

Pan-roasted Salmon Fillet served with Brown Butter Potatoes, Broccoli Purée, Roasted Cauliflower, and a Tomato and Kalamata Olive Sauce (Sue)

Lamb Rump Roasted with Harissa served with Moroccan-spiced Potato Press, Cumin-roasted Carrot, Date Purée, and a Chermoula Dressing (Me)

Desserts

Saffron-infused Rice Pudding with Lychee and Galangal Jelly topped with a Praline made with Pumpkin Seeds (Sue)

Pecan Pie with rich Salted-caramel Sauce finished with Pecan Clotted Cream Praline (Me)

The meal finished not long after 1.15pm, and by 1.45pm Sue and I had returned to our suite. We then spent some time doing the daily crossword, reading, and resting, with Sue taking the occasional break for a visit to Deck 18.

We had been invited to a special Officer-hosted reception for suite passengers in the 710 club (Deck 6 Midships) that started at 5.15pm. As this was also the first formal night of the cruise, and Sue and I had to get dressed up in our formal wear – dinner jacket and long dress respectively for anyone who might have doubts! – by 5.00pm in order to make our way to the venue in time for the start.

The reception gave us the opportunity to get to know a couple of other suite passengers and to have a chat with the ship’s captain, Captain Martin Allen. He was very informative and talked to us about the weather front that was approaching Iona and the Canary Islands from across the Atlantic and the possibility that it might have an impact on our stop at Tenerife.

After the reception had ended, Sue and I returned to our suite until it was 7.45pm. We then went up to the Crow’s Nest Bar for a pre-dinner drink …

… and stayed there until 8.20pm, at which point we went down to Deck 16 so that we could go to the Chef’s Table dinner that was being held in the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant.

The menu for the Chef’s Table dinner was devised by Marco Pierre White, and Sue and I ate – respectively – a peach-based amuse bouche, …

… Cannelloni of poached and Oak Smoked Salmon Roulade and French Onion Soup Gratinée for our starter course, …

… followed by Beef Wellington as our main course, …

… and – for dessert – Trifle Wally Ladd.

Except for the trifle – which was a bit bland and not very tasty – the meal was good … but not as good as the lunch we ate earlier in the day or the dinner we had eaten in the Epicurean Restaurant.

We had finished eating by 9.45pm, and Sue and I made our way back to our suite via Deck 18. We then spent some time reading and resting before it was time to get ready for bed.

Wednesday 18th March: At sea

Overnight, Iona continued on a course towards the Canary Islands.

Sue and I had intended to go to the Headliners Theatre after breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant to watch the entertainment manager interview Olly Smith about his life and work in the wine industry, but by the time we got there, every seat was taken. Instead, we walked to the ship’s atrium, where I sat whilst Sue went for a walk around the ship’s shops.

Once Sue had rejoined me, we decided to have a café latte from the Vistas Coffee Bar (Deck 6 Midships) before going up to Deck 18 for some fresh air.

The lifts were still not all working, and it took over ten minutes before we could get one up to Deck 18 … and when we got there, we found that it was very windy and light rain was falling. We stayed there for about ten minutes before returning to our suite … although the lift problem made this a somewhat slow process.

Once we were back in our suite, Sue and I attempted to do the daily crossword, but without a lot of success. We listened to the noonday announcement from the bridge and then spent some time writing up our log (Sue) and blog (Me). We then returned to the crosswords … and were a bit more successful in solving the clues the second time around.

At just after 3.00pm, Sue and I went to The Quays for a light lunch. As we were a bit later than we had been during our first visit, it was a lot less crowded and we had no problem finding somewhere to sit.

Sue opted for fish and chips – again – and I chose a Texan burger and fries.

Both dishes were well up to P&O’s usual standard and we both left feeling well fed. We then returned to our suite and stayed there until it was time to go for a pre-dinner drink.

At about 6.00pm, Captain Allen made an announcement about the ship’s visit to Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Whilst the weather conditions did not prevent Iona entering the harbour, local services were disrupted and all planned excursions had been cancelled. Passengers would be allowed to go ashore if they wanted to but were warned that they might not be able to see and go where they planned and that local restrictions might be in place. This was later confirmed by a letter that was delivered to our suite.

At 7.45pm, Sue and I went up to the Crow’s Nest Bar for our usual pre-dinner drink, and thirty minutes later we set off for the Pearl Restaurant for dinner. This had been arranged by our butler after we had said how much we enjoyed our previous meal and the service we had received there. Sayed had been down and had a word with the Restaurant Host, and she booked us in at a table close to the entrance doors with the same waiter who had served us previously.

After a very good meal, we returned to our suite – via the open deck area on Deck 18 – to get ready for bed. We remembered to turn our clocks back one hour as the Canary Islands is in the same time zone as the UK … and this meant that in theory we would enjoy an additional hour’s sleep.

Thursday 19th March: Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Tenerife

Neither Sue or I enjoyed a good night’s sleep. The sea was rough until after midnight, and then something awoke us at 5.30am. We tried going back to sleep again, but both of us ended up dozing rather than sleeping, and by 7.30am we had given up the uneven struggle and got up … just as Iona moored alongside the cruise terminal in Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

It is the first time that we had been on a cruise ship that had moored next to the cruise terminal … and it is much closer than the usual berth.

There were two cruise ships moored across the harbour from the cruise terminal, …

… the Azmara Discovery …

… and the Seven Seas Voyage.

The preserved steamship La Palma was also close by.

We had finished breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant by a little after 9.30am, and by 10.00am we had been back to our suite, got together everything that we needed ashore, and set off to walk to the centre of the city. Our route took us through the cruise terminal, across a bridge that spans the main road into and out of the dock area, and then into a small tree-lined park that runs parallel with the seafront and that leads to the Plaza España.

It took us about twenty minutes to walk to one end of the main pedestrian street leading uphill from the seafront, but we carried on a little further so that Sue could visit a tabac to buy some cigarettes. From there we did walk a little way uphill …

… but then we felt a few drops of rain falling on us and decided to make our way back to the ship.

The walk back seemed to take us longer than it had on the way out, and this was mainly due to us having to pass through the security scanning process in the main cruise terminal building. By the time we were back aboard Iona at 11.45am, the rain had stopped, and as we were feeling rather tired, we returned to our suite and did the daily crossword.

At 12.30am, Sue and I decided to venture up to the open area on Deck 18. We were easily able a couple of chairs, and after a couple of failed attempts, we managed to flag down a bar waiter and order a couple of drinks. It was whilst I was there that I noticed a small warship moored near to the Plaza España.

The main topic of conversation among the passenger sitting around us was the impact – or non-impact – of Storm Therese on Santa Cruz de Tenerife. The local government was geared up for a serious storm (e.g. schools were closed, the road up to Mount Teide was shut, and some bus services were curtailed), but other than the odd and very brief rain shower and some black clouds overhead, there was very little to indicate that the weather was any different from normal.

By 3.00pm, Sue and I were beginning to feel like some lunch, and we were able to book a table in the Olive Grove Restaurant.

We decided not to eat all three courses and just had a main course and a dessert. As usual, the food was excellent and we both left at just before 4.00pm feeling very satisfied.

After a short visit to the open deck area on Deck 18, Sue and I returned to our suite and stayed there until it was time to have our usual pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest Bar. We then ate the second meal of our cruise in the Epicurean Restaurant. After starting with a selection of bread served with two types of butter …

… Sue and I ate the following courses:

Starters

Bloody Mary and Goat’s Cheese Mousse ‘Tomatoes’ with Balsamic, Slow-Roasted Cherry Tomatoes, Candied Walnuts, Shallot Rings, Basil Purée (Sue)

Chicken Liver and Cognac Parfait with Black Truffle and Crispy Chicken Skin Crisps, Toasted Rye Bread, Chicken Fat Butter, Chicken Jus (Me)

Main Course

Pan-Seared Australian Wagyu Beef Sirloin with Crispy Potato Pavé, King Oyster Mushroom, Slow-Cooked Onion filled with Braised Wagyu Beef and Horseradish, Asparagus Spear, Caramelised Onion Purée, and Sauce Bordelaise (Sue)

Rhug Estate Salt Marsh Lamb Rack with Crispy Braised Shoulder, Cauliflower Purée, Black Garlic Emulsion, Toasted Pinenuts, Mint Oil Edamame, Lamb Jus (Me)

Desserts

Emerald Dubai Chocolate with Pistachio Cream Mousse, Kataifi Pastry, Dark Chocolate, Toasted Sesame, Kumquat, Chocolate and Pistachio Sand, Candied Pistachios (Sue)

Epicurean Tiramisu Cup with Amaretto and Kahlúa Mascarpone, Baileys-Soaked Sponge, Dark Chocolate, Vanilla Mallow Cubes (Me)

Just before we finished eating and left the restaurant at 10.15pm, Iona set sail … ninety minutes later than expected. This delay was due to the worsening weather, and by the time we went to bed at 11.30pm, the ship was moving about so much that trying to walk in a straight line was difficult!

Friday 20th March: Las Palmas, Gran Canaria

Sue and I were woke up several times during the night due to the movement of the ship, and the sound of the wind was – at times – very loud. At one point, sea foam from the tops of waves could be seen flying past the suite’s balcony windows.

By the time Iona moored alongside in Las Palmas, the wind had dropped, and when the sun rose, the sky was almost cloudless.

The ship moored just ahead of the Costa Fortuna …

… and near the small Belgian cruise ship La Belle des Oceans.

On the other side of the cruise terminal, the MSC cruise ship MSC Musica was also tied up.

A fourth cruise ship – the Corinthia – was moored alongside closed to the large seafront shopping centre, La Muelle.

Las Palmas is the home of the main Spanish Naval base in the Canary Islands, and as usual, we saw four of the six Meteoro-class patrol vessels that are based there.

Sue and I disembarked at just before 11.00am … about halfway through the ship’s crew doing a full-scale safety exercise! We walked through the ground floor of the cruise terminal, along the road toward the centre of Las Palmas.

This took us some time as it was much hotter than we had expected – it reached 24°C whilst we were ashore – and we stopped a couple of times to have a short rest. It took us just over forty minutes to slowly walk from the cruise terminal to the small park that is just inland from the docks that contains a famous statue of Lolita Pluma, who fed all the local feral cats and was known as ‘the cat lady’.

Once there, we did some shopping, and I bought copies of the latest issues of the DESPERTA FERRO military history magazine from a small kiosk.

By this time we were both feeling very hot and in need of a drink, and found a table in a nearby café that was run by a number of Vietnamese.

Suitably refreshed, we set off back to the ship, and after another forty minute walk that went past the Museo Elder (the local technology museum) …

… and was punctuated by a couple of stops to rest, we were back in the cruise terminal. We were back aboard Iona by 1.30pm, and after a spell in our suite to rest and cool down, we set off to get some lunch in the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant.

Our last foray there for something to eat had not been a good experience and we hoped that this time things would be better.

They weren’t!

I could find sausages, but nothing to eat with them … and after my last experience, I decided to give the leather-like gammon a miss. In the end I opted for what was labelled as Boeuf Bourguignonne … but the meat was tough and lacked any taste, and the rice I had planned to have with it had all gone by the time I reached it. Sue chose some filled rolls, but the prawn one contained only three prawns and some tasteless and rather tired-looking lettuce, and the brie and cranberry roll had such a small thin slice of brie in it that it barely qualified as such.

I do not think that I will be going back there to eat again!

The only benefit of such a poor lunch was that by the evening, both Sue and I were feeling hungry and were looking forward to eating in the Olive Grove Restaurant again.

Iona set sail for its next port-of-call – Arrecife on Lanzarote – at 6.30pm, and just before sailing the captain made an announcement about the progress of Storm Therese. Apparently, we had been lucky in Tenerife to have missed the worst of the weather. The roads around Mount Teide had experienced heavy snowfall, and the wind had seriously affected the west of the island. The storm was moving eastwards, and there was a possibility that it might prevent the ship from docking in Arrecife.

Sue and I had our usual pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest Bar before going to the Olive Grove Restaurant at 8.45pm for dinner. We both ate a Caesar Salad as our starter, and Sue had her usual Margherita Pizza for her main course. I chose grilled, boneless Piri-Piri Chicken with Portuguese Tomato Rice as my main course, and we finished out meal with a Lemon Tart (Sue) and a Tiramisu (Me).

We were back in our suite by 10.15pm, and reading and resting for about an hour, we went to bed.

Saturday 21st March: Arrecife, Lanzarote

The passage from Gran Canaria to Lanzarote was surprisingly calm, but trying to get moored alongside the dock in Arrecife was affected by high winds.

Iona was finally secured alongside by 7.30am, but when I tried to open the door onto our balcony at 8.00am, it proved very difficult to do so due to the strong wind.

There was a local ferry, …

… a small cruise ship – the Explora I – already in port …

… and whilst we were getting ready to go the breakfast, TUI’s Mein Schiff Relax made her way into the harbour and moored.

By the time we had eaten breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, the weather was already beginning to worsen, and rather than go ashore straight away, we decided to see how it would develop. This proved to be a wise decision as not long after 11.00am, a heavy rainstorm hit us.

By the time that the rain had stopped, it was getting close to midday, and as we had already booked lunch in the Olive Grove Restaurant, Sue and I decided not to bother to go ashore and risk getting cold and wet.

A local ferry had been moored just ahead of Iona and soon after midday it attempted to leave its berth and proceed out to sea. This proved very difficult, and eventually a large tug arrived to assist her. Even so, it took a considerable time for her move away from the dockside, turn 180°, and make her way through the narrow harbour entrance.

At 1.00pm, Sue and I went up to the open deck area on Deck 18 for a drink. Luckily, the place where we chose to sit was sheltered from the wind and it was quite pleasant sitting there for about an hour … but as we left to go back to our suite, the sky was darkening and it looked as if another rainstorm was on its way.

At 2.30pm, Sue and I made our way to the Olive Grove Restaurant for lunch. It was – as we have come to expect – excellent. From the restaurant, we went up to Deck 18 and stayed there until just before 4.15pm … thirty minutes before Iona set sail for Cadiz. Sue and I then went back to our suite and stayed there until it was time for our pre-dinner drink.

After having a quick drink in the Crow’s nest bar, Sue and I went to the Epicurean Restaurant for our third dinner there of the cruise. As it was Saturday, the menu had changed, and we ate the following dishes:

French Baguette, Olive Focaccia Bread, and Wholemeal Bread with unsalted and herb butter

This was followed by an amuse bouche.

Starters

Goat’s Cheese Mousse Tartlet with Pickled Beetroot, Candied Thyme, Hazelnut Praline, Beetroot Gel, and Goat’s Cheese Crisp (Sue)

100% Acorn-Fed Iberico Jamón with Tomato Tartare, Spring Onion Top Mayonnaise, Tomato Emulsion, Fresh Basil, Tomato ’Crisps’, and Herb Oil (Me)

Main Course

Limousin Grass-Fed Beef Fillet with Bone Marrow Crust, with Pulled Beef Ship Croquette, Crispy Carrot, Herb-Crushed Potatoes, Red Wine Braised Onion, and Beef Dripping Jus (Both of us)

Desserts

Epicurean Eton Mess with Vanilla Pavlova, Strawberry and Champagne Bubble Tea, Meringue Shards, Crème Chantilly, Vanilla Gelato, and Strawberries (Both of us)

This menu was very different from the previous one, and it was actually difficult to decide what to choose. The standout dish was the Limousin Beef Fillet, which was huge and cooked to perfection.

After dinner Sue and I went up to Deck 18 for some fresh air before returning to our suite to rest and read before going to bed.

Sunday 22nd March: At sea

Overnight, the ship’s clocks were advanced by an hour as the next port-of-call was Cadiz, Spain. By the time we awoke at 8.00am, Iona was off the coast of Morocco, sailing on a northeasterly course.

Once we had eaten breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, Sue and I went up to the open deck are on Deck 18. We stayed there until 10.30am, at which point we went to the Headliners Theatre to watch a talk by Martin Carlin – a forensic scientist and former crime scene investigator – about aspects of Marilyn Munroe’s life and death.

This lasted from 11.15am until just after noon.

Sue and I were in need some fresh air and went up to Deck 18 until 12.30pm. It was then time to return to the Headliners Theatre to attend a ‘crime mystery radio play’ – The Case of the Missing Violinist – that started at 1.00pm and that was being recreated by members of the chips crew.

It turned out to be absolutely hilariously and intentionally bad!

The play finished just before 1.50pm and Sue and I went up to the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant in the hope that we could find something to eat.

This was our third visit to the restaurant, and frankly, we were both very disappointed by what was on offer. In the end, we went down to The Quays, where the food quality was better … and it was a lot less crowded.

Sue and I had returned to our suite by 3.00pm and remained there for the rest of the afternoon. We went for our normal pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest Bar after a short spell out on Deck 18 enjoying the early evening breeze.

For a change, Sue and I went to the Pearl Restaurant for dinner and thoroughly enjoyed it. We had managed to arrange to have the same table and waiter as we had had during our previous visit … something that is officially frowned upon by P&O as they are trying to enforce what they term ‘Freedom Dining’ – where you have the ‘opportunity’ to have a different table in a different main restaurant every night – whereas Sue and I prefer ‘Club Dining’, where you have the same table in the same restaurant for all you evening meals.

After dinner, Sue and I paid another visit to Deck 18, but by then it was dark and much colder, so we soon returned to our suite to read and rest before getting ready to sleep.

Monday 23rd March: Cadiz, Spain

The vibration caused by Iona turning so that she could moor with her bows towards the harbour entrance woke both of us up at 6.30am, and despite our best attempts, neither of us was able to get back to sleep. Properly.

The docking process was completed by just after 7.00am, and this meant that we were able to have a leisurely time getting ready for breakfast. It also gave us time to watch the sun rise and watch the city gradually come to life.

Having eaten our breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant by 10.10am, Sue and I decided to let the crowds of passengers who were going ashore to do so before we bothered. The air temperature was about 14°C and there were no clouds in the sky, so we decided to spend some time up on Deck 18 enjoying the good weather. In the end, we had a chat with several other passengers who were also delaying their disembarkation, and it wasn’t until 11.30am that Sue and I walked out through the dock gates and towards the centre of the city.

Our first stop was in the Plaza España, which is a large square that contains a huge monument to Spain’s 1812 Constitution, which was drafted and passed into law by the Cortes – the Spanish parliament – that was sitting in Cadiz. (At the time, only Cadiz remained the only part of Spain that was truly unoccupied by Napoleon’s troops.)

Our walk through the city took no predefined route, and along the way we saw numerous examples of old buildings …

… and quite shady squares that seem to be full of ancient trees.

We eventually made our way back to the dock, and after passing through the security scanning process in the cruise terminal building, we reboarded Iona at about 1.45pm. By this time the air temperature had risen to 21°C and we were both in need of a rest and a cool down before we had lunch.

Because our experience of the ship’s self-service restaurant had not been good and because the weather was so nice, Sue and I decided to give the poolside fast-food outlet a go. Taste 360 is located on Deck 16, and has a small, pleasant seating area where one can eat.

Sue had several slices on Margharita pizza (her favourite!) with some salad and had a freshly-cook cheeseburger with some French Fries. The food was very good and because it was freshly prepared it had not had the chance to get ‘tired’ … unlike much of the food we had seen in the self-service restaurant.

We followed lunch with a trip up to Deck 18, but by the time we got there, almost all the seats and sunbeds were taken. We were eventually able to find a couple of seats and stayed there until just before 4.00pm, at which point we returned to our suite in order to read and write our respective records of our cruise.

Iona set sail from Cadiz at 5.00pm, and by the time she reached the open sea, she was going at 17 knots in order to cover the distance to our next – and last – port-of-call of the cruise, Lisbon.

Our evening followed it usual pattern; a pre-dinner drink in the Crow’s Nest bar, dinner in the Pearl Restaurant, and a short spell on the open deck are on Deck 18 before we returned to our suite to read until it was time to go to bed.

Tuesday 24th March: Lisbon, Portugal

Sue and I awoke when the ship slowed down to pick up a pilot, and this gave us the opportunity to see some of the sights of Lisbon as Iona made her was up the River Tagus to the Tobacco Dock cruise Terminal. Along the way we sailed past the Belem Tower, …

… the monument to the famous Portuguese explorers and navigators, …

… and towards the 25 de Abril bridge.

The statue of Christ the Redeemer – which is located next to the bridge – dominates the bank opposite the city of Lisbon.

Once Iona had passed under the very noisy 25 de Abril bridge …

… she soon came abreast of the city’s central square, the Praça de Comércio) or Black Horse Square.

Within a few minutes, the ship was approaching the cruise terminal, which is located by the former Tobacco Dock …

… where she moored …

… between the Silver Seas cruise liner Silver Ray …

… and the tiny National Geographic Explorer.

After breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, Sue and I decided to wait until 11.00pm before disembarking and going ashore. In fact, it was closer to 11.30pm by the time we exited the cruise terminal (it was a longer walk from the ship to the terminal that we had expected) and began to walk towards the Praça de Comércio.

The centre of Lisbon has been undergoing a major renovation for many years, but as yet, it cannot be described as particularly accessible to people with mobility problems. Many of the pavements are very uneven and pedestrian crossing often lack ramps. As a result, it took us far longer to walk to the Praça de Comércio than expected.

By this time the temperature had risen to well over the predicted 20°C and Sue and I were in desperate need of a drink. Luckily, we were able to find a table on the terrace are of the Can-the-Can café/bar/restaurant.

Suitably refreshed and rested, we took a leisurely walk back to the ship and were back aboard and in our suite by 2.00pm. At 3,00pm we had lunch in the Olive Tree Restaurant and spent the rest of the day out on deck or resting in our suite.

At 7.30pm, Sue and I tried to get a lift up to the Crow’s Nest Bar, but because the lifts are still not all working, we had to wait fifteen minutes before one arrived that was both going up and that had room for us to get in. We finally managed to have our pre-dinner drink and get to the Pearl Restaurant by 8.30pm, but the lifts in the centre and aft of the ship were also suffering from problems due to several being out of order.

Because of this – and because of fears that on disembarkation day the situation will be even worse – Sue and I went to the Reception Desk (Deck 7 Midships) to complain about this ongoing problem and to ask what steps were being taken to solve it. The information we received was – to say the least – less than satisfactory. Apparently, they are waiting for a delivery of spare parts to fix the broke lifts, and that they expect that the situation will be solved in six to eight weeks! When I enquired about passengers like me who had mobility problems, we were give a vague ‘phone us if you have a problem and we’ll see what we can do’ answer.

Sue and I then went up to Deck 18 for some much-needed fresh air, and by 11.00pm we were back in our suite and getting ready to go to bed.

Wednesday 25th March: Lisbon, Portugal

Sue and I awoke at 8.00pm, and by 9.15am we were in the Epicurean Restaurant eating breakfast. We had already decided not to go ashore again, and that we would spend the day relaxing and recovering from the previous day’s exertions. (We had walked well over 6 miles on Tuesday and both of us were feeling more than a little tired and aching as a result.)

We were able to take in the view from our suite balcony before breakfast and noticed that the old cruise ship Funchal was moored some distance away.

As her name suggests, she used to operate in and around Madeira but was withdrawn from service some years ago and has been moored in Lisbon ever since. No doubt she will eventually be scrapped.

After breakfast, Sue and I sat in the open air on Deck 18 until 11.00pm, at which point we returned to our suite to write up our respective log (Sue) or blog (Me).

Besides this, we did the daily crossword and had a drink … and at 2.15pm we went down to the ship’s gelateria – Ripples – on Deck 8 for an ice cream afternoon tea.

It comprised mini gelato macarons, gelato cannoli, a praline chocolate dome, gelato stix, and mini gelato cones … with a choice of tea or a Costa coffee.

It was delicious and made a very pleasant change from our usual late lunch.

We then returned to our suite and kept ourselves amused until it was time for Iona to set sail from Lisbon. The latest time that passengers were expected to be back aboard was 4.30pm, and once everyone was checked in, the ship began to prepare to leave the dockside. At this point, Sue went up to Deck 18 and I remained in our suite.

By 5.00pm, Iona had turned 180° and was making her way down the River Tagus towards the sea. A large number of people were out on deck to see her pass under the 25 de Abril bridge, but as soon as she had, the wind across the deck intensified, the air temperature dropped, and by 5.30pm only a few more hardy passengers remained outside.

Sue returned to our suite slightly after this exodus and was in much need of a refreshing cup of tea, which she drank accompanied by a pastel da nata. (I also had one … and it was delicious!)

After a visit from our butler, Sue and I watched TV and wrote up our respective records of our cruise. At 7.30pm we went up to the Crow’s Nest Bar for a pre-dinner drink … but it took us nearly twenty minutes to do so as only 50% of the lifts were still working. In fact, we did not manage to get into a lift going up until a total of five had arrived at Deck 11 full of passengers … most of whom had got in a lift going up in order to go down!

Because of this problem, Sue and I had a rather rushed drink in order to give ourselves time to get a lift down from Deck 17 to Deck 6 … but somewhat to our surprise, the first one to arrive was empty! As a result, we were slightly early arriving at the Pearl Restaurant for dinner.

The dinner was – as usual – served with great aplomb by our waiter, Febin. He had got to know our likes and dislikes and was able to advise us about which dishes he thought would appeal to us … and he certainly gave good advice.

During dinner, the weather began to worsen, and by 9.15pm, the ship was ploughing her way through heavy seas and winds northwards up the coast of Portugal.

After dinner, Sue and I went up to Deck 18, but it was so cold and windy that we only stayed there about ten minutes. We then returned to our suite and by midnight we were trying to get to sleep.

Thursday 26th March: At sea

Despite the bad weather, Sue and I slept surprisingly well, and by the time our alarm went off at 8.00am, Iona was off the coast of Portugal to the west of Porto and well on her way towards the Bay of Biscay.

After breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, Sue and I sat in the Crow’s Nest Bar until 10.45am, when it was time to go down to the Headliners Theatre to a cookery competition between the Captain and the Food & Beverage Manager. This was called ‘Pickles and Peppers’ …

… and both competitors were given fifteen minutes to cook a dish of their choosing.

Needless to say, there was a lot of gentle banter between the two, but in the end the captain won as his Thai Green Curry was judged to be superior to the Food & Beverage Manager’s All-in Stir-fry.

On leaving the theatre, Sue and I decided to return to the Crow’s Nest Bar for a drink, but using the lifts again proved problematic and we did not get up there until after 12.20pm.

After our drink, we returned to our suite to do the daily crosswords and to read. At 2.30pm, we went down to The Quays for a fish-and-chip lunch and stayed there until just before 3.15pm. We then returned to our suite and remained there until it was time to get ready for the second formal dinner of the cruise.

During our time in our suite, we saw several merchant ships that were also sailing in the same direction as Iona. One was less than a mile away and judging by the way that the waves were breaking halfway up her bow, the swell was probably about 5m.

We had a chat with our butler when he delivered a plate of canapes at 5.00pm, and afterwards we watched TV before we got ready for dinner.

At 7.30pm, Sue and I went up to the Crow’s Nest Bar for a pre-dinner drink, and at 8.15pm we took the lift down to Deck 16 to go to the Chef’s Table dinner that was taking place in the Horizon Self-Service Restaurant.

Yet again, the menu for the Chef’s Table dinner was devised by Marco Pierre White, and Sue and I ate a peach-based amuse bouche, Cannelloni of Poached and Oak Smoked Salmon Roulade for our starter course, followed Pan-Fried Sea Bass Fillet á la Grenobloise (Sue) and Roast Pork Fillet (Me), and – for dessert – Rum Savarin of Raspberries (Sue) and Trifle Wally Ladd (Me). The meal was very good and – unlike last time – the trifle was well up to expectations.

By 9.45pm, we had finished eating and Sue and I went back to our suite via Deck 18. We then spent the time reading and watching TV before it was time to get ready for bed.

Friday 27th March: At sea

Overnight, Iona sailed towards the westernmost part of the French coast through increasingly better weather.

By the time Sue and I went to breakfast in the Epicurean Restaurant, the sea was very calm, and when – after breakfast – we went up to Deck 18, it was cold but quite pleasant in the open air.

By 11.00am, we had returned to our suite and began to prepare to pack our luggage. We did not rush and had finished packing four of our six bags by 1.30pm. Sue and I then took a break, and when we checked at 2.20pm, Iona had already passed Ushant and was sailing up the English Channel towards Southampton.

As has become our custom, we had booked Afternoon Tea in the Epicurean Restaurant. The doors opened at 3.00pm, and within a few minutes we were enjoying the wonderful food that was available.

It included:

Herb Lobster Rolls with Celery, Chives and Dill in a Brown Butter Brioche

Corn-fed Paprika Chicken with Heirloom Tomatoes in a Ciabatta Roll

Beetroot and Vanilla Smoked Salmon Shortcrust Pastry Tart with Dill and Caper Cream and Beetroot Water

Pistachio Financiers with Rose-scented Cream Cheese Frosting and Persian Rose Petals

Blueberry Yoghurt Cheesecake with Blackcurrant Jam Centre and a Graham Cracker Base

Verine Mont Blanc with Crunch Meringue, Blackcurrant Conserve, Dark Rum, and Sweet Crème de Marron

Golden Chocolate Sphere with Dark Chocolate Mousse, Framboise Raspberries, and Chocolate Genoese.

Raspberry & Raw Cacao and Traditional Scones with Clotted Cream and Jam

We probably a bit more than we should have and needed some fresh air afterwards to aid our digestion! Despite the fact that it was raining, there was sufficient space undercover for us to sit in the open air until it was 4.20pm. We then returned to our suite … where we were greeted by Sayed, our butler. He checked that there was nothing that we needed, and we thanked him for everything that he had done to make the cruise enjoyable.

Sue and I then packed the fifth of our bags and put them all outside our suite door for collection. Once that was done, we were able to sit and relax until it was time to get ready for our last dinner of the cruise.

After dinner, Sue and I thanked the waiters who had served us in the Pearl Restaurant – Febin and Delton – and the restaurant host, Cherry. We then made our way back to our suite via the open deck area on Deck 18. As we had to get up early on the following morning, we packed our last bit of luggage, put it outside our suite door for collection, and were in bed by just after 11.15pm.

Saturday 28th March: Southampton

At around 3.00am, Iona picked up a Southampton pilot at the Nab Tower and by 6.00am she was moored alongside the Ocean Cruise Terminal.

Sue and I were already awake as the ship moved alongside the dock, and by 7.15am we were dressed and sitting in the Epicurean Restaurant eating breakfast. Once we had finished, we thanked all the staff for their wonderful service before taking our hand luggage towards the lifts. Surprisingly, we only had to wait for about five minutes before were actually able to get in a lift going down to Deck 6.

As I was registered for assisted disembarkation, Sue and I had to go to the Limelights Bar (Deck 6 Forward) to get registered and to join the queue to be taken ashore. We arrived at the bar at 8.15am and were warned that there would be at least a forty-five minute wait.

After a quick discussion, Sue and I decided that rather than wait, we would make our own way ashore. The airbridge was a bit challenging, but there was a lift from the end of the walkway down to the baggage reclaim hall. We could not find a porter to assist us and had to find and load our own luggage onto two trolleys. Sue and I then made our way out through the ‘nothing to declare’ lane … and by 9.00am we had collected our car from the valet parking service and loaded our luggage into it.

The drive home was reasonably uneventful, although there was a minor holdup at the junction of the M3 and M25 because of an accident on the southbound carriageway of the M3. We did stop at Winchester Services for a comfort break, a Costa Coffee café latte, and some much-needed food shopping, but this did not delay us unduly and we arrived home at 12.40pm ... just over three and a half hours after leaving Southampton.