It gave me great pleasure to be able to take on the role of Major-General Backsight-Forethought in Tim Gow's and Nick Huband's excellent FUNNY LITTLE WARS lawn game at COW2025. Despite my apparent inebriation (part of my role-playing as will be apparent from my player briefing!) I was able to take some photographs, which are shown below.
My player briefing:
Major-General Backsight-Forethought
Seasoned campaigner, very well connected socially, utterly inept militarily, prone to long 'inspiring' speeches and always extremely drunk. Think Jack Train as Colonel Chinstrap.
- Be very drunk all of the time.
- Be strongly influenced by whoever has most recently spoken to you.
- Make it clear to all that YOU are in command.
- Avoid damage to your drinks cabinet.
Major-General Backsight-Forethought.
The British Infantry Brigade. The Connaught Rangers are on the right flank, the Queen's Regiment are in the centre (along with the artillery), and the Australian battalion is on the right. The brigade commander is just behind the Queen's and the reserve battalion is behind the artillery.
The Queens and the Connaughts advance on to Boer positions.
The Major-General's HQ ... with specially-built campaign drinks cabinet!
The Boer entrenchments.
The Queen's Regiment moving forward in column.
The artillery moved forward so as to better engage the enemy.
The reservoir in the centre of the battlefield funnelled the Queens and the Connaughts toward the right side of the Boer positions.
The British artillery maintained a steady barrage on the Boer trenches.
The Boer entrenchments.
A group of Bores hurrying to occupy the left-hand kopje before the Australians get there!
Tbe Boer secret weapon! The Krupp heavy gun known as 'Long Tim'.
A British infantry column advancing in the face of Boer fire.
The Australians are almost at the bottom of the left-hand kopje. The cavalry (which was commanded by Colonel Flashman VC) can be seen in the distance. They did little other than to lend a bit of tone to the occasion!
The Boers won the race to occupy the left-hand kopje.
The Connaughts assault the Boer position on the right-hand kopje.
The reserve infantry advance past the British artillery which had suffered some casualties as a result of Boer fire.
In the end, the result was inconclusive ... sort of! The Connaughts fought bravely (one would expect nothing less of them under their intrepid commander, Colonel Ridley), the Queens never quite got to grips with the Boers (exercising a left wheel in front of the Boer positions was asking for trouble!), and the Australians (who were led by someone who kept telling me that his name was Bruce, but who didn't sound at all Scottish) acquitted themselves well in their assault on the left-hand kopje. The artillery gave as good as the got, but the cavalry failed to turn the Boer flank, having dismounted far to soon.
As to my own performance ... well, I was sniped at and a Boer artillery shell did just miss my campaign drinks cabinet, but luckily no bottles were broken. I have recommended that the infantry battalion commanders and injured Major Flint of the Royal Artillery be awarded DSOs ... and I hope that there may be a chance that I'll get a gong or even a knighthood, just as long as the impertinent journalist that accompanied my brigade doesn't write anything too damning in his terrible newspaper. In retrospect, perhaps my comment that sobriety was a much overrated quality in a general might have been a bit too loose lipped!
This was a fun, FUN, FUN game, with loads of laughs and some wonderful overacting ... including mine! Who could forget Jonathan Crowe's depiction of a Krapp Industries arms salesman? Or Ian Drury's Australian drawl? Or Chris James's impertinent journalist? Or David Burden's incredibly competent Colonel Ridley of the Connaught Rangers? Or Michael Young as Colonel of the Queen's? Or Stuart Davies's depiction of that loveable rogue Colonel Flashman VC? Or Jim Roche's monosyllabic Mayor Flint, Royal Artillery?
This was great way to start the Saturday morning of COW2025 ... and set the tone for the whole weekend!
The image of Major-General Backsight-Forethought was created using ChatGPT.
Looks like an ideal way to spend a sunny Saturday. Nice report and photos Bob - I particularly like the drinks cabinet. Long Tim isn't impressing anyone.
ReplyDeleteMaudlin Jack Tar,
DeleteIt was a great way to start my Saturday morning ... and set me up for the rest of the weekend.
I understand that the drink's cabinet was specially made for the game. As for 'Long Tim' ... well, it looked good but was not as decisive a weapon as the German salesman promised.
All the best,
Bob
Looks like you had a great day out in the gardens. How accurate are those guns, and are they powerful enough to knock those miniatures over?? Matchsticks ammo?
ReplyDeleteRoger,
DeleteIt was a great battle!
In answer to your question … the guns can have quite some range IN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES (one matchstick fired by the Boers went well over twenty feet … but another only just made it to six inches!). They certainly have enough power to knock over a plastic figure but metal figures seem to be more difficult to upend.
All the best,
Bob
BOB,
ReplyDeleteGlad you have covered the lawn game- very nice figures in 54mm - certainly pleased you took part in the activities and your mobility wasn't in the way. Best Wishes. KEV.
Kev Robertson (Kev),
DeleteThe figures were very impressive when seen on the lawn, and are all painted in the style of old Britains figures (i.e. block colours and gloss varnished).
Luckily my role involved sitting down and giving orders (‘Another G&T, orderly!’) and shouting encouragement.
All the best,
Bob
Looks and sounds like it was a lot of fun. I also really enjoy injecting some role playing into Wargames.
ReplyDeleteMark Cordone,
DeleteIt was an hilarious game, with all the players throwing themselves into their roles. The role play element helped to make it a memorable session … and I look forward to taking part in many more.
All the best,
Bob
A stirring account in the best tradition of FLW, well done you to all involved!
ReplyDelete