A visit from the black dog

For the last thirty years or so I have been prone to bouts of depression ... or as Churchill used to call it, the black dog.

Mine started when I had a breakdown due to over-work and stress, and after treatment that lasted over a year I was able to return to full-time employment ... but the depressive episodes returned every so often. The big difference was that when they did, I knew what strategies I needed to adopt to get through them.

Over time the black dog has 'visited' me more and more infrequently, and the intensity of the episodes has decreased. Since I retired I have had a few minor episodes. They were all brought on by something stressful that I had to deal with ... such as my father's death. They generally lasted a few days - a week at most - and then they passed and my life returned to normal.

Last night I noticed the first signs that an episode was starting:

• I developed a headache that did not respond to normal painkillers
• I had difficulty concentrating on anything for more than a few minutes
• I felt very tired but could not sleep
• I had difficulty focusing my eyes and my peripheral vision decreased
• My physical coordination went to pot and I seemed to become very clumsy

Overnight the symptoms have not improved. I have therefore decided to forgo blogging and any wargame-related activity for a day or so until the black dog leaves. With luck this will not be a long break ... but what I do know is that such a break will help me get back to normal all the quicker.