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Thursday 31 March 2022

"Whatever you do, don't choose the cheese sandwich!"

When I was admitted to Ward 15 at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich, on Wednesday 23rd March, I had missed the deadline for ordering an evening meal.

At just after 6.00pm, the staff began to deliver food to each patient, but as I had not ordered anything, none was delivered to my bed. I asked if it would be possible to get something to eat as I had not eaten since lunchtime, and after some humming and hawing, I managed to order a cheese sandwich and an apple juice.

This was a big mistake!

By 7.30pm, nothing had arrived, and I asked the nurse if he could chase up my order. He did ... and was told that it was on its way.

At 8.00pm the day and night shifts swopped over, and at 8.30pm I asked one of the new nurses on duty to find out where my sandwich was. She did ... and was told that it was on its way.

By 9.30pm nothing had arrived, and she chased up my order for a second time ... and was told that it was ready for me to collect! After explaining that I was in bed and unable to go to the canteen, they grudgingly agreed to send it to the ward using the next available porter.

The sandwich finally arrived at just after 10.00pm ... but without the apple juice I had ordered. Rather than complain, I decided to drink water instead.

The sandwich arrived in a prepacked plastic and cardboard container which proved very difficult to open. When I eventually managed that 'simple' task, I was presented with my cheese sandwich.

What I actually ended up with was a slice of cheese between two slices of processed brown bread. The bread had been holistically buttered (i.e., it had been in the same room as some butter at the time that it was made but had apparently never had any spread on it) and looked very unappetising. The cheese was some sort of mature Cheddar cheese, but of a variety that was very dry and both strong and tasteless at the same time.

My first bite was enough. The bread turned to a heavy lump of pulp in my mouth whilst the cheese seemed to suck all my saliva away. The only way I could eat it was to swallow a gulp of water with every bite, and even then, it seemed to stick in my throat.

I managed to eat half of my sandwich before I gave up and decided that being hungry was better than eating the rest of it.

Next morning, I discussed my experience with the other people in my bay, and one of then said, 'I should have warned you. Whatever you do, don't choose the cheese sandwich! It's inedible!'

It's certainly advice that I passed on when the opportunity arose.

26 comments:

  1. Bob,
    Did you not notice the British Rail logo?....

    Seriously though that is a failure in their duty of care. I hope you are suitably scathing in your (inevitable) customer care survey.

    S&F

    Mike

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    Replies
    1. Mike C (Mike),

      The logo was definitely a give away … although I’d not seen a Stockton and Darlington Railway one before!

      I could not fault the nursing and support staff, but the systems they are working with seem to be inflexible, and I said as much on my feedback form.

      S&F

      Bob

      Delete
  2. When I was in for my cancer surgery I hadn't eaten anything solid for a fortnight prior and didn't start eating at all until the weekend after my Monday operation.

    I lost about 3 stone.

    Therefore I never got a chance to sample the cheese sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim Duncan,

      That must have been a tough regime … and it must have been very difficult to stick to.

      If I ever come across another hospital cheese sandwich, I’ll send it to you so that you can sample it’s ‘delights’.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  3. Firstly Bob, sorry to read that you had to go back into hospital and I hope that things improve for you now you are receiving treatment.

    The sandwich experience was just ridiculous, I know you have to try and see the funny side of these things but how can there be any excuse for that? 4 hours to get something as basic as a cheese sandwich that is then inedible, what on Earth is going on there! Your butter comment did make me laugh though :)

    And don't get me started on GP services Bob, just impossible to get an appointment or even a call back here, even when you are on the phone the second the lines open when you get through there are is nothing available, day after day. I simply do not understand why?

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery,

    Lee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ‘Lee,

      Cheers! I’m feeling a lot more positive but my aftercare arrangements leave a lot to be desired. I spent over an hour today on the phone to my GP and the Community Nurses, only to be told that they would get back to me asap.

      The problem is that I need to have regular supplies of urine bags. These are supplied by a specialist company, but they need a prescription from my GP … and he won’t sign one until the Community Nurse has visited me and recommended that I be given them. The nurse has me booked in for a visit on Wednesday, which is three days after I will have run out of non reusable bags. Add in the fact that it takes up to a week for the supply of bags to be set up and the first batch delivered … and I could be in a right mess by the end of next week! I’m hoping that they will get back to me by the end of today.

      The food in the hospital was generally quite good. It was freshly cooked and although the portions were not huge, they were tasty. In the past, the wards held a selection of sandwiches in their fridge for just such eventualities, but management thought that the wastage was too high, hence my sandwich having to be ordered from the kitchens.

      Keep safe and keep well,

      Bob

      Delete
  4. It could be worse Bob; back when I was a nurse most hospitals operated what was called "Cook-Chill" which quickly was renamed "Cook-Kill"! The food was cooked in a large factory in Wales, immediately frozen and transported to the hospital where it was reheated in the hospital kitchen to a volcanic temperature before being sent to the wards. On arrival, the temperature had to be checked to confirm it was still volcanic, thus killing any harmful pathogens. If just a degree below it had to be returned (to be reheated to volcanic temp).
    The effect on the food can be imagined; aside from being too hot to eat, the process destroyed any beneficial nutrients and reduced it to an unappetizing plate of what resembled food. As for the liquidised meals for those without teeth, less said the better!
    All in the name of efficiency and cost cutting; the simple solution was to use the kitchens for what they were intended and employ cooks to cook food....
    Get better soon Bob!
    Neil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neil Patterson (Neil),

      It sounds very similar to the way the Schools Meals Service used to operate in our area. The food was prepared in the kitchens of local secondary schools and then shipped out to smaller schools for serving. The food was kept warm in heated cabinets that were loaded into a small fleet of vans for distribution. As a result, the food was usually very dry and tasteless … and lacking a lot of the nutrient that it should have had.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  5. Haha oh my word! What an ordeal. At least you've still got your sense of humour. Best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donjondo,

      Cheers!

      When one has a choice, laughter beats crying every time!

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  6. I find that in a Hospital "Inedible" should be the name of the food service. On a week long stay in a rehab hospital (artificial knee) I, who has difficulty loosing weight, lost 15 pounds! Good Luck - have the family bring in some lunch is my advce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dick Bryant,

      The food I was given was much better than I expected, and was certainly edible. Due to COVID restrictions, the number of visitors was limited to one per day for an hour … and they had to prove that they had done a negative lateral flow test. They were also discouraged from brining food in with them.

      I lost nearly a stone during my stay, and that was no bad thing. I’m hoping that I will continue to lose weight as I recover.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
    2. Good God! How much of that was the accumalated p*ss?

      Delete
    3. Dick Bryant,

      Quite a lot! When the catheter was fitted, they drained out 1.3 litres of urine in a matter of minutes. This weighed just under four pounds.

      They continued to drain my system until I was discharged, and I know that on some days they drained more than 5 litres. Even allowing for the fact that I was drinking at least 2 litres of fluid a day, a large proportion of what was drained out must have been stored as fluid throughout my body.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  7. I am sorry to hear of your recent hospitalization - I do hope you are felling better each day.

    "holistically buttered" had me laughing, however. I will use that phrase going forward whenever I order food and the order is missing a sauce/dressing/topping/spread.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Y,

      I had a very long sleep last night … and I really felt the benefit today, I’m hoping that it is the first of many such nights, which will be a sure sign that I am getting better.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  8. Perhaps this is where the expression cheesed off" comes from! Get well soon.

    Simon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simon (Simon),

      Cheers!

      If it isn’t the derivation of the expression, it should be!

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  9. Sounds like taking tea with Putin...
    Hope you were better fed today Bob
    Best wishes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maudlin Jack Tar,

      I’m certainly eating better than I was … and today’s homemade sandwich (chicken and bacon) was superb!

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  10. Bob -
    There used to be a saying in the military - a caution. 'Remember that the manufacture of the weapon you're holding went to the lowest bidder.' I guess one could say the same about institutional food!

    I have always rather admired, you know, people who could get a whole bunch of other people to get things done. My own experience with that kind of thing has been more like herding cats, or, worse yet, pitchforking flies across a barn. Your experience with the supplies of essential equipment seems similar.

    Commiserations,
    Ion

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Archduke Piccolo (Ion),

      For a time I was a school governor, and was briefly involved in the allocation of contracts, including one for school dinners. The companies contending for it all went on about the quality of their food … but knowing what the budget per portion was, it was obvious that they were going to have to use the very cheapest ingredients.

      Having been a bureaucrat at one point in my career, I’m used to the ways of such people. They will expend more energy to avoid doing something than it would take to do it.

      I’ve found that persistence, asking the right questions, and being assertive usually works wonders in the end. When they realise that it’s going to cost them more effort to avoid doing what I have asked them to do than doing it, they generally give in. In this case, the Community Nurse has agreed to supply me with a batch of urine bags as a temporary measure until she can see me on Wednesday. It took nearly five hours … but I got what I wanted in the end.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete
  11. Hi Bob
    As i remember all hospital food especially the sandwiches are inedible i have no idea what the make them of.
    Good luck mate.
    Steve

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    Replies
    1. Stephen Smith (Steve),

      Most of the food I ate whilst in hospital was more than acceptable ... but the sandwiches were very poor.

      All the best,

      Bob

      One of my cellmates had a tuna sandwich, and after eating most of it, he told me that the filling was alright but the bread was dry and the crusts so hard that his teeth couldn't bite though them!

      Delete
  12. So this is the third time I've tried leaving you some supportive words but it looks like I'm a bit too late.
    Just know that I had a joke about Welsh Rabbit being code for a cheese sandwich. It was some odd joke my late father-in-law used to tell.
    I'm glad to hear you are better at this point.

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    Replies
    1. Mr. Pavone,

      Thanks for your kind words. They may have been late … but I wouldn’t have know if you hadn’t told me.

      I am told by a Welsh friend that Welsh Rarebit is different from cheese on toast … but frankly, I suspect that only a foodie could tell you the difference.

      All the best,

      Bob

      Delete

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